No Fear Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing: Act 4 Scene 2

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Much Ado About Nothing

William Shakespeare

Original Text

Modern Text

Original Text

Modern Text

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES , and SEXTON , in gowns; and the Watch, with CONRADE and BORACHIO	Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES , and SEXTON , in gowns; and the Watch, with CONRADE and BORACHIO
DOGBERRY Is our whole dissembly appeared?	DOGBERRY Is our whole dissembly appeared?
VERGES Oh, a stool and a cushion for the Sexton.	VERGES Oh, a stool and a cushion for the Sexton.
A stool is brought in. SEXTON sits	A stool is brought in. SEXTON sits
SEXTON Which be the malefactors?	SEXTON Which be the malefactors?
DOGBERRY Marry, that am I and my partner.	DOGBERRY Marry, that am I and my partner.
VERGES Nay, that’s certain; we have the exhibition to examine.	VERGES Nay, that’s certain; we have the exhibition to examine.
SEXTON But which are the offenders that are to be examined? Let them come before Master Constable.	SEXTON But which are the offenders that are to be examined? Let them come before Master Constable.
DOGBERRY Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is your name, friend?	DOGBERRY Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is your name, friend?
BORACHIO and CONRADE come forward	BORACHIO and CONRADE come forward
10 What’s your name, friend?	What’s your name, friend?
BORACHIO Borachio.	BORACHIO Borachio.
DOGBERRY Pray, write down, “Borachio.”—Yours, sirrah?	DOGBERRY Pray, write down, “Borachio.”—Yours, sirrah?
CONRADE I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.	CONRADE I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.
DOGBERRY Write down “Master Gentleman Conrade.”—Masters, do 15 you serve God?	DOGBERRY Write down “Master Gentleman Conrade.”—Masters, do you serve God?
CONRADE, BORACHIO Yea, sir, we hope.	CONRADE, BORACHIO Yea, sir, we hope.
DOGBERRY Write down that they hope they serve God; and write God first, for God defend but God should go before such villains!—Masters, it is proved already that you are little 20 better than false knaves, and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves?	DOGBERRY Write down that they hope they serve God; and write God first, for God defend but God should go before such villains!—Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves, and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves?
CONRADE Marry, sir, we say we are none.	CONRADE Marry, sir, we say we are none.
DOGBERRY A marvelous witty fellow, I assure you, but I will go about with him.—Come you hither, sirrah, a word in your ear. 25 Sir, I say to you it is thought you are false knaves.	DOGBERRY A marvelous witty fellow, I assure you, but I will go about with him.—Come you hither, sirrah, a word in your ear. Sir, I say to you it is thought you are false knaves.
BORACHIO Sir, I say to you we are none.	BORACHIO Sir, I say to you we are none.
DOGBERRY Well, stand aside.—'Fore God, they are both in a ale. Have you writ down that they are none?	DOGBERRY Well, stand aside.—'Fore God, they are both in a ale. Have you writ down that they are none?
SEXTON Master Constable, you go not the way to examine. You 30 must call forth the watch that are their accusers.	SEXTON Master Constable, you go not the way to examine. You must call forth the watch that are their accusers.
DOGBERRY Yea, marry, that’s the eftest way.—Let the watch come forth. Masters, I charge you in the Prince’s name, accuse these men.	DOGBERRY Yea, marry, that’s the eftest way.—Let the watch come forth. Masters, I charge you in the Prince’s name, accuse these men.
FIRST WATCHMAN This man said, sir, that Don John, the Prince’s brother, was 35 a villain.	FIRST WATCHMAN This man said, sir, that Don John, the Prince’s brother, was a villain.
DOGBERRY Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince’s brother villain.	DOGBERRY Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince’s brother villain.
BORACHIO Master Constable—	BORACHIO Master Constable—
DOGBERRY Pray thee, fellow, peace. I do not like thy look, I promise 40 thee.	DOGBERRY Pray thee, fellow, peace. I do not like thy look, I promise thee.
SEXTON (to Watch) What heard you him say else?	SEXTON (to Watch) What heard you him say else?
SECOND WATCHMAN Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.	SECOND WATCHMAN Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.
DOGBERRY Flat burglary as ever was committed.	DOGBERRY Flat burglary as ever was committed.
VERGES 45 Yea, by Mass, that it is.	VERGES Yea, by Mass, that it is.
SEXTON What else, fellow?	SEXTON What else, fellow?
FIRST WATCHMAN And that Count Claudio did mean upon his words to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her.	FIRST WATCHMAN And that Count Claudio did mean upon his words to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her.
DOGBERRY (to BORACHIO) O villain! Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this.	DOGBERRY (to BORACHIO) O villain! Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this.
SEXTON What else?	SEXTON What else?
FIRST WATCHMAN This is all.	FIRST WATCHMAN This is all.
SEXTON And this is more, masters, than you can deny. Prince John 55 is this morning secretly stolen away. Hero was in this manner accused, in this very manner refused, and upon the grief of this, suddenly died.—Master Constable, let these men be bound and brought to Leonato’s. I will go before and show him their examination.	SEXTON And this is more, masters, than you can deny. Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away. Hero was in this manner accused, in this very manner refused, and upon the grief of this, suddenly died.—Master Constable, let these men be bound and brought to Leonato’s. I will go before and show him their examination.
Exit	Exit
DOGBERRY 60 Come, let them be opinioned.	DOGBERRY Come, let them be opinioned.
VERGES Let them be in the hands—	VERGES Let them be in the hands—
CONRADE Off, coxcomb!	CONRADE Off, coxcomb!
DOGBERRY God’s my life, where’s the Sexton? Let him write down the Prince’s officer “coxcomb.” Come, bind them.—Thou 65 naughty varlet!	DOGBERRY God’s my life, where’s the Sexton? Let him write down the Prince’s officer “coxcomb.” Come, bind them.—Thou naughty varlet!
CONRADE Away! You are an ass, you are an ass!	CONRADE Away! You are an ass, you are an ass!
DOGBERRY Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? Oh, that he were here to write me down an ass! But masters, remember that I am an ass, though it be not 70 written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.—No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow and, which is more, an officer and, which is more, a householder and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one 75 that knows the law, go to, and a rich fellow enough, go to, and a fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns and everything handsome about him.—Bring him away.—Oh, that I had been writ down an ass!	DOGBERRY Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? Oh, that he were here to write me down an ass! But masters, remember that I am an ass, though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.—No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow and, which is more, an officer and, which is more, a householder and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one that knows the law, go to, and a rich fellow enough, go to, and a fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns and everything handsome about him.—Bring him away.—Oh, that I had been writ down an ass!
Exeunt	Exeunt