No Fear Shakespeare: The Comedy of Errors: Act 4 Scene 3

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The Comedy of Errors

William Shakespeare

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Original Text

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE	Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE There’s not a man I meet but doth salute me As if I were their well-acquainted friend, And every one doth call me by my name. Some tender money to me; some invite me; 5 Some other give me thanks for kindnesses; Some offer me commodities to buy. Even now a tailor called me in his shop And showed me silks that he had bought for me, And therewithal took measure of my body. 10 Sure, these are but imaginary wiles, And lapland sorcerers inhabit here.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE There’s not a man I meet but doth salute me As if I were their well-acquainted friend, And every one doth call me by my name. Some tender money to me; some invite me; Some other give me thanks for kindnesses; Some offer me commodities to buy. Even now a tailor called me in his shop And showed me silks that he had bought for me, And therewithal took measure of my body. Sure, these are but imaginary wiles, And lapland sorcerers inhabit here.
Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, here’s The gold you sent me for. What, have you got the picture of old Adam new-appareled?	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, here’s The gold you sent me for. What, have you got the picture of old Adam new-appareled?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not that Adam that kept the Paradise, but that Adam that keeps the prison; he that goes in the calf’s skin that was killed for the Prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not that Adam that kept the Paradise, but that Adam that keeps the prison; he that goes in the calf’s skin that was killed for the Prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I understand thee not.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I understand thee not.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No? Why, ’tis a plain case: he that went, like a bass viol in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob and ’rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a morris-pike.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No? Why, ’tis a plain case: he that went, like a bass viol in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob and ’rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a morris-pike.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 25 What, thou meanest an officer?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What, thou meanest an officer?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he that brings any man to answer it that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to bed and says “God give you good rest.”	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he that brings any man to answer it that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to bed and says “God give you good rest.”
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ships put forth tonight? May we be gone?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ships put forth tonight? May we be gone?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the bark Expedition put forth tonight, and then were you hindered by the sergeant to tarry for the hoy Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for to deliver you.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the bark Expedition put forth tonight, and then were you hindered by the sergeant to tarry for the hoy Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for to deliver you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 35 The fellow is distract, and so am I, And here we wander in illusions. Some blessed power deliver us from hence!	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE The fellow is distract, and so am I, And here we wander in illusions. Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
Enter a COURTESAN	Enter a COURTESAN
COURTESAN Well met, well met, Master Antipholus. I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now. 40 Is that the chain you promised me today?	COURTESAN Well met, well met, Master Antipholus. I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now. Is that the chain you promised me today?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, is this Mistress Satan?	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, is this Mistress Satan?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE It is the devil.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE It is the devil.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nay, she is worse; she is the devil’s dam, and here she comes in the habit of a light wench. And thereof comes that the wenches say “God damn me” that’s as much to say “God make me a light wench.” It is written they appear to men like angels of light. Light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn: ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nay, she is worse; she is the devil’s dam, and here she comes in the habit of a light wench. And thereof comes that the wenches say “God damn me” that’s as much to say “God make me a light wench.” It is written they appear to men like angels of light. Light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn: ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.
COURTESAN 50 Your man and you are marvelous merry, sir. Will you go with me? We’ll mend our dinner here.	COURTESAN Your man and you are marvelous merry, sir. Will you go with me? We’ll mend our dinner here.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, if you do, expect spoon meat; or bespeak a long spoon.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, if you do, expect spoon meat; or bespeak a long spoon.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, Dromio?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, Dromio?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (to COURTESAN) Avoid then, fiend! What tell’st thou me of supping? Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress. I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (to COURTESAN) Avoid then, fiend! What tell’st thou me of supping? Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress. I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.
COURTESAN 60 Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised, And I’ll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.	COURTESAN Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised, And I’ll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Some devils ask but the parings of one’s nail, a rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, a nut, a cherrystone; but she, more covetous, would have a chain. Master, be wise. An if you give it her, the devil will shake her chain and fright us with it.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Some devils ask but the parings of one’s nail, a rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, a nut, a cherrystone; but she, more covetous, would have a chain. Master, be wise. An if you give it her, the devil will shake her chain and fright us with it.
COURTESAN I pray you, sir, my ring or else the chain. I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.	COURTESAN I pray you, sir, my ring or else the chain. I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Avaunt, thou witch!—Come, Dromio, let us go.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Avaunt, thou witch!—Come, Dromio, let us go.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 70 “Fly pride,” says the peacock. Mistress, that you know.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE “Fly pride,” says the peacock. Mistress, that you know.
Exeunt ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE and DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	Exeunt ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE and DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
COURTESAN Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad; Else would he never so demean himself. A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats, And for the same he promised me a chain. 75 Both one and other he denies me now. The reason that I gather he is mad, Besides this present instance of his rage, Is a mad tale he told today at dinner Of his own doors being shut against his entrance. 80 Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits, On purpose shut the doors against his way. My way is now to hie home to his house And tell his wife that, being lunatic, He rushed into my house and took perforce 85 My ring away. This course I fittest choose, For forty ducats is too much to lose.	COURTESAN Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad; Else would he never so demean himself. A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats, And for the same he promised me a chain. Both one and other he denies me now. The reason that I gather he is mad, Besides this present instance of his rage, Is a mad tale he told today at dinner Of his own doors being shut against his entrance. Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits, On purpose shut the doors against his way. My way is now to hie home to his house And tell his wife that, being lunatic, He rushed into my house and took perforce My ring away. This course I fittest choose, For forty ducats is too much to lose.
Exit	Exit