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Flourish. Enter ULYSSES, DIOMEDES, NESTOR,
AGAMEMNON , CALCHAS, MENELAUS, and AJAX.
Flourish. Enter ULYSSES, DIOMEDES, NESTOR,
AGAMEMNON , CALCHAS, MENELAUS, and AJAX.
CALCHAS
Now, princes, for the service I have done you,
Th’ advantage of the time prompts me aloud
To call for recompense. Appear it to your mind
That, through the sight I bear in things to come,
5
I have abandoned Troy, left my possessions,
Incurred a traitor’s name, exposed myself,
From certain and possessed conveniences,
To doubtful fortunes, sequest’ring from me all
That time, acquaintance, custom, and condition
10
Made tame and most familiar to my nature,
And here, to do you service, am become
As new into the world, strange, unacquainted.
I do beseech you, as in way of taste,
To give me now a little benefit
15
Out of those many regist’red in promise,
Which you say live to come in my behalf.
CALCHAS
Now, princes, for the service I have done you,
Th’ advantage of the time prompts me aloud
To call for recompense. Appear it to your mind
That, through the sight I bear in things to come,
I have abandoned Troy, left my possessions,
Incurred a traitor’s name, exposed myself,
From certain and possessed conveniences,
To doubtful fortunes, sequest’ring from me all
That time, acquaintance, custom, and condition
Made tame and most familiar to my nature,
And here, to do you service, am become
As new into the world, strange, unacquainted.
I do beseech you, as in way of taste,
To give me now a little benefit
Out of those many regist’red in promise,
Which you say live to come in my behalf.
AGAMEMNON
What wouldst thou of us, Trojan, make demand?
AGAMEMNON
What wouldst thou of us, Trojan, make demand?
CALCHAS
You have a Trojan prisoner called Antenor
Yesterday took. Troy holds him very dear.
20
Oft have you—often have you thanks therefor—
Desired my Cressid in right great exchange,
Whom Troy hath still denied; but this Antenor,
I know, is such a wrest in their affairs
That their negotiations all must slack,
25
Wanting his manage; and they will almost
Give us a prince of blood, a son of Priam,
In change of him. Let him be sent, great princes,
And he shall buy my daughter; and her presence
Shall quite strike off all service I have done
30
In most accepted pain.
CALCHAS
You have a Trojan prisoner called Antenor
Yesterday took. Troy holds him very dear.
Oft have you—often have you thanks therefor—
Desired my Cressid in right great exchange,
Whom Troy hath still denied; but this Antenor,
I know, is such a wrest in their affairs
That their negotiations all must slack,
Wanting his manage; and they will almost
Give us a prince of blood, a son of Priam,
In change of him. Let him be sent, great princes,
And he shall buy my daughter; and her presence
Shall quite strike off all service I have done
In most accepted pain.
AGAMEMNON  
Let Diomedes bear him,
And bring us Cressid hither. Calchas shall have
What he requests of us. Good Diomed,
Furnish you fairly for this interchange.
35
Withal, bring word if Hector will tomorrow
Be answered in his challenge. Ajax is ready.
AGAMEMNON  
Let Diomedes bear him,
And bring us Cressid hither. Calchas shall have
What he requests of us. Good Diomed,
Furnish you fairly for this interchange.
Withal, bring word if Hector will tomorrow
Be answered in his challenge. Ajax is ready.
DIOMEDES
This shall I undertake, and ’tis a burden
Which I am proud to bear.
DIOMEDES
This shall I undertake, and ’tis a burden
Which I am proud to bear.
He exits with CALCHAS.
ACHILLES and PATROCLUS stand in their tent.
He exits with CALCHAS.
ACHILLES and PATROCLUS stand in their tent.
ULYSSES
Achilles stands i’ th’ entrance of his tent.
40
Please it our General pass strangely by him
As if he were forgot, and, princes all,
Lay negligent and loose regard upon him.
I will come last. ’Tis like he’ll question me
Why such unplausive eyes are bent, why turned on
45
him.
If so, I have derision medicinable
To use between your strangeness and his pride,
Which his own will shall have desire to drink.
It may do good; pride hath no other glass
50
To show itself but pride, for supple knees
Feed arrogance and are the proud man’s fees.
ULYSSES
Achilles stands i’ th’ entrance of his tent.
Please it our General pass strangely by him
As if he were forgot, and, princes all,
Lay negligent and loose regard upon him.
I will come last. ’Tis like he’ll question me
Why such unplausive eyes are bent, why turned on
him.
If so, I have derision medicinable
To use between your strangeness and his pride,
Which his own will shall have desire to drink.
It may do good; pride hath no other glass
To show itself but pride, for supple knees
Feed arrogance and are the proud man’s fees.
AGAMEMNON
We’ll execute your purpose and put on
A form of strangeness as we pass along;
So do each lord, and either greet him not
55
Or else disdainfully, which shall shake him more
Than if not looked on. I will lead the way.
AGAMEMNON
We’ll execute your purpose and put on
A form of strangeness as we pass along;
So do each lord, and either greet him not
Or else disdainfully, which shall shake him more
Than if not looked on. I will lead the way.
They pass before ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. ULYSSES
remains in place, reading.
They pass before ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. ULYSSES
remains in place, reading.
ACHILLES
What, comes the General to speak with me?
You know my mind: I’ll fight no more ’gainst Troy.
ACHILLES
What, comes the General to speak with me?
You know my mind: I’ll fight no more ’gainst Troy.
AGAMEMNON , to NESTOR
What says Achilles? Would he aught with us?
AGAMEMNON , to NESTOR
What says Achilles? Would he aught with us?
NESTOR , to ACHILLES
60
Would you, my lord, aught with the General?
NESTOR , to ACHILLES
Would you, my lord, aught with the General?
ACHILLES  
No.
ACHILLES  
No.
NESTOR  
Nothing, my lord.
NESTOR  
Nothing, my lord.
AGAMEMNON  
The better.
AGAMEMNON  
The better.
AGAMEMNON and NESTOR exit.
AGAMEMNON and NESTOR exit.
ACHILLES , to MENELAUS
Good day, good day.
ACHILLES , to MENELAUS
Good day, good day.
MENELAUS  
65
How do you? How do you? He exits.
MENELAUS  
How do you? How do you? He exits.
ACHILLES  
What, does the cuckold scorn me?
ACHILLES  
What, does the cuckold scorn me?
AJAX  
How now, Patroclus?
AJAX  
How now, Patroclus?
ACHILLES  
Good morrow, Ajax.
ACHILLES  
Good morrow, Ajax.
AJAX  
Ha?
AJAX  
Ha?
ACHILLES  
70
Good morrow.
ACHILLES  
Good morrow.
AJAX  
Ay, and good next day too.
AJAX  
Ay, and good next day too.
He exits. He exits.
ACHILLES
What mean these fellows? Know they not Achilles?
ACHILLES
What mean these fellows? Know they not Achilles?
PATROCLUS
They pass by strangely. They were used to bend,
To send their smiles before them to Achilles,
75
To come as humbly as they use to creep
To holy altars.
PATROCLUS
They pass by strangely. They were used to bend,
To send their smiles before them to Achilles,
To come as humbly as they use to creep
To holy altars.
ACHILLES  
What, am I poor of late?
’Tis certain, greatness, once fall’n out with Fortune,
Must fall out with men too. What the declined is
80
He shall as soon read in the eyes of others
As feel in his own fall, for men, like butterflies,
Show not their mealy wings but to the summer,
And not a man, for being simply man,
Hath any honor, but honor for those honors
85
That are without him—as place, riches, and favor,
Prizes of accident as oft as merit,
Which, when they fall, as being slippery slanders,
The love that leaned on them, as slippery too,
Doth one pluck down another and together
90
Die in the fall. But ’tis not so with me.
Fortune and I are friends. I do enjoy,
At ample point, all that I did possess,
Save these men’s looks, who do, methinks, find out
Something not worth in me such rich beholding
95
As they have often given. Here is Ulysses.
I’ll interrupt his reading.—How now, Ulysses?
ACHILLES  
What, am I poor of late?
’Tis certain, greatness, once fall’n out with Fortune,
Must fall out with men too. What the declined is
He shall as soon read in the eyes of others
As feel in his own fall, for men, like butterflies,
Show not their mealy wings but to the summer,
And not a man, for being simply man,
Hath any honor, but honor for those honors
That are without him—as place, riches, and favor,
Prizes of accident as oft as merit,
Which, when they fall, as being slippery slanders,
The love that leaned on them, as slippery too,
Doth one pluck down another and together
Die in the fall. But ’tis not so with me.
Fortune and I are friends. I do enjoy,
At ample point, all that I did possess,
Save these men’s looks, who do, methinks, find out
Something not worth in me such rich beholding
As they have often given. Here is Ulysses.
I’ll interrupt his reading.—How now, Ulysses?
ULYSSES  
Now, great Thetis’ son—
ULYSSES  
Now, great Thetis’ son—
ACHILLES  
What are you reading?
ACHILLES  
What are you reading?
ULYSSES  
A strange fellow here
100
Writes me that man, how dearly ever parted,
How much in having, or without or in,
Cannot make boast to have that which he hath,
Nor feels not what he owes, but by reflection;
As when his virtues, shining upon others,
105
Heat them, and they retort that heat again
To the first giver.
ULYSSES  
A strange fellow here
Writes me that man, how dearly ever parted,
How much in having, or without or in,
Cannot make boast to have that which he hath,
Nor feels not what he owes, but by reflection;
As when his virtues, shining upon others,
Heat them, and they retort that heat again
To the first giver.
ACHILLES  
This is not strange, Ulysses.
The beauty that is borne here in the face
The bearer knows not, but commends itself
110
To others’ eyes; nor doth the eye itself,
That most pure spirit of sense, behold itself,
Not going from itself, but eye to eye opposed
Salutes each other with each other’s form.
For speculation turns not to itself
115
Till it hath traveled and is mirrored there
Where it may see itself. This is not strange at all.
ACHILLES  
This is not strange, Ulysses.
The beauty that is borne here in the face
The bearer knows not, but commends itself
To others’ eyes; nor doth the eye itself,
That most pure spirit of sense, behold itself,
Not going from itself, but eye to eye opposed
Salutes each other with each other’s form.
For speculation turns not to itself
Till it hath traveled and is mirrored there
Where it may see itself. This is not strange at all.
ULYSSES
I do not strain at the position—
It is familiar—but at the author’s drift,
Who in his circumstance expressly proves
120
That no man is the lord of anything—
Though in and of him there be much consisting—
Till he communicate his parts to others;
Nor doth he of himself know them for aught
Till he behold them formed in the applause
125
Where they’re extended; who, like an arch, reverb’rate
The voice again or, like a gate of steel
Fronting the sun, receives and renders back
His figure and his heat. I was much rapt in this
And apprehended here immediately
130
Th’ unknown Ajax. Heavens, what a man is there!
A very horse, that has he knows not what!
Nature, what things there are
Most abject in regard, and dear in use,
What things again most dear in the esteem
135
And poor in worth! Now shall we see tomorrow—
An act that very chance doth throw upon him—
Ajax renowned. O, heavens, what some men do
While some men leave to do!
How some men creep in skittish Fortune’s hall,
140
Whiles others play the idiots in her eyes!
How one man eats into another’s pride,
While pride is fasting in his wantonness!
To see these Grecian lords—why, even already
They clap the lubber Ajax on the shoulder
145
As if his foot were on brave Hector’s breast
And great Troy shrieking.
ULYSSES
I do not strain at the position—
It is familiar—but at the author’s drift,
Who in his circumstance expressly proves
That no man is the lord of anything—
Though in and of him there be much consisting—
Till he communicate his parts to others;
Nor doth he of himself know them for aught
Till he behold them formed in the applause
Where they’re extended; who, like an arch, reverb’rate
The voice again or, like a gate of steel
Fronting the sun, receives and renders back
His figure and his heat. I was much rapt in this
And apprehended here immediately
Th’ unknown Ajax. Heavens, what a man is there!
A very horse, that has he knows not what!
Nature, what things there are
Most abject in regard, and dear in use,
What things again most dear in the esteem
And poor in worth! Now shall we see tomorrow—
An act that very chance doth throw upon him—
Ajax renowned. O, heavens, what some men do
While some men leave to do!
How some men creep in skittish Fortune’s hall,
Whiles others play the idiots in her eyes!
How one man eats into another’s pride,
While pride is fasting in his wantonness!
To see these Grecian lords—why, even already
They clap the lubber Ajax on the shoulder
As if his foot were on brave Hector’s breast
And great Troy shrieking.
ACHILLES
I do believe it, for they passed by me
As misers do by beggars, neither gave to me
Good word nor look. What, are my deeds forgot?
ACHILLES
I do believe it, for they passed by me
As misers do by beggars, neither gave to me
Good word nor look. What, are my deeds forgot?
ULYSSES
150
Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back
Wherein he puts alms for oblivion,
A great-sized monster of ingratitudes.
Those scraps are good deeds past, which are devoured
As fast as they are made, forgot as soon
155
As done. Perseverance, dear my lord,
Keeps honor bright. To have done is to hang
Quite out of fashion like a rusty mail
In monumental mock’ry. Take the instant way,
For honor travels in a strait so narrow
160
Where one but goes abreast. Keep, then, the path,
For Emulation hath a thousand sons
That one by one pursue. If you give way
Or turn aside from the direct forthright,
Like to an entered tide they all rush by
165
And leave you hindmost;
Or, like a gallant horse fall’n in first rank,
Lie there for pavement to the abject rear,
O’errun and trampled on. Then what they do in
present,
170
Though less than yours in past, must o’ertop yours;
For Time is like a fashionable host
That slightly shakes his parting guest by th’ hand
And, with his arms outstretched as he would fly,
Grasps in the comer. Welcome ever smiles,
175
And Farewell goes out sighing. Let not virtue seek
Remuneration for the thing it was,
For beauty, wit,
High birth, vigor of bone, desert in service,
Love, friendship, charity are subjects all
180
To envious and calumniating Time.
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin,
That all, with one consent, praise newborn gauds,
Though they are made and molded of things past,
And give to dust that is a little gilt
185
More laud than gilt o’erdusted.
The present eye praises the present object.
Then marvel not, thou great and complete man,
That all the Greeks begin to worship Ajax,
Since things in motion sooner catch the eye
190
Than what stirs not. The cry went once on thee,
And still it might, and yet it may again,
If thou wouldst not entomb thyself alive
And case thy reputation in thy tent,
Whose glorious deeds but in these fields of late
195
Made emulous missions ’mongst the gods themselves
And drave great Mars to faction.
ULYSSES
Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back
Wherein he puts alms for oblivion,
A great-sized monster of ingratitudes.
Those scraps are good deeds past, which are devoured
As fast as they are made, forgot as soon
As done. Perseverance, dear my lord,
Keeps honor bright. To have done is to hang
Quite out of fashion like a rusty mail
In monumental mock’ry. Take the instant way,
For honor travels in a strait so narrow
Where one but goes abreast. Keep, then, the path,
For Emulation hath a thousand sons
That one by one pursue. If you give way
Or turn aside from the direct forthright,
Like to an entered tide they all rush by
And leave you hindmost;
Or, like a gallant horse fall’n in first rank,
Lie there for pavement to the abject rear,
O’errun and trampled on. Then what they do in
present,
Though less than yours in past, must o’ertop yours;
For Time is like a fashionable host
That slightly shakes his parting guest by th’ hand
And, with his arms outstretched as he would fly,
Grasps in the comer. Welcome ever smiles,
And Farewell goes out sighing. Let not virtue seek
Remuneration for the thing it was,
For beauty, wit,
High birth, vigor of bone, desert in service,
Love, friendship, charity are subjects all
To envious and calumniating Time.
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin,
That all, with one consent, praise newborn gauds,
Though they are made and molded of things past,
And give to dust that is a little gilt
More laud than gilt o’erdusted.
The present eye praises the present object.
Then marvel not, thou great and complete man,
That all the Greeks begin to worship Ajax,
Since things in motion sooner catch the eye
Than what stirs not. The cry went once on thee,
And still it might, and yet it may again,
If thou wouldst not entomb thyself alive
And case thy reputation in thy tent,
Whose glorious deeds but in these fields of late
Made emulous missions ’mongst the gods themselves
And drave great Mars to faction.
ACHILLES  
Of this my privacy,
I have strong reasons.
ACHILLES  
Of this my privacy,
I have strong reasons.
ULYSSES  
But ’gainst your privacy
200
The reasons are more potent and heroical.
’Tis known, Achilles, that you are in love
With one of Priam’s daughters.
ULYSSES  
But ’gainst your privacy
The reasons are more potent and heroical.
’Tis known, Achilles, that you are in love
With one of Priam’s daughters.
ACHILLES  
Ha? Known?
ACHILLES  
Ha? Known?
ULYSSES  
Is that a wonder?
205
The providence that’s in a watchful state
Knows almost every grain of Pluto’s gold,
Finds bottom in the uncomprehensive deep,
Keeps place with thought and almost, like the gods,
Do thoughts unveil in their dumb cradles.
210
There is a mystery—with whom relation
Durst never meddle—in the soul of state,
Which hath an operation more divine
Than breath or pen can give expressure to.
All the commerce that you have had with Troy
215
As perfectly is ours as yours, my lord;
And better would it fit Achilles much
To throw down Hector than Polyxena.
But it must grieve young Pyrrhus now at home
When Fame shall in our islands sound her trump,
220
And all the Greekish girls shall tripping sing
“Great Hector’s sister did Achilles win,
But our great Ajax bravely beat down him.”
Farewell, my lord. I as your lover speak.
The fool slides o’er the ice that you should break.
ULYSSES  
Is that a wonder?
The providence that’s in a watchful state
Knows almost every grain of Pluto’s gold,
Finds bottom in the uncomprehensive deep,
Keeps place with thought and almost, like the gods,
Do thoughts unveil in their dumb cradles.
There is a mystery—with whom relation
Durst never meddle—in the soul of state,
Which hath an operation more divine
Than breath or pen can give expressure to.
All the commerce that you have had with Troy
As perfectly is ours as yours, my lord;
And better would it fit Achilles much
To throw down Hector than Polyxena.
But it must grieve young Pyrrhus now at home
When Fame shall in our islands sound her trump,
And all the Greekish girls shall tripping sing
“Great Hector’s sister did Achilles win,
But our great Ajax bravely beat down him.”
Farewell, my lord. I as your lover speak.
The fool slides o’er the ice that you should break.
He exits.
He exits.
PATROCLUS
225
To this effect, Achilles, have I moved you.
A woman impudent and mannish grown
Is not more loathed than an effeminate man
In time of action. I stand condemned for this.
They think my little stomach to the war,
230
And your great love to me, restrains you thus.
Sweet, rouse yourself, and the weak wanton Cupid
Shall from your neck unloose his amorous fold
And, like a dewdrop from the lion’s mane,
Be shook to air.
PATROCLUS
To this effect, Achilles, have I moved you.
A woman impudent and mannish grown
Is not more loathed than an effeminate man
In time of action. I stand condemned for this.
They think my little stomach to the war,
And your great love to me, restrains you thus.
Sweet, rouse yourself, and the weak wanton Cupid
Shall from your neck unloose his amorous fold
And, like a dewdrop from the lion’s mane,
Be shook to air.
ACHILLES  
235
Shall Ajax fight with Hector?
ACHILLES  
Shall Ajax fight with Hector?
PATROCLUS
Ay, and perhaps receive much honor by him.
PATROCLUS
Ay, and perhaps receive much honor by him.
ACHILLES
I see my reputation is at stake;
My fame is shrewdly gored.
ACHILLES
I see my reputation is at stake;
My fame is shrewdly gored.
PATROCLUS  
O, then, beware!
240
Those wounds heal ill that men do give themselves.
Omission to do what is necessary
Seals a commission to a blank of danger,
And danger, like an ague, subtly taints
Even then when they sit idly in the sun.
PATROCLUS  
O, then, beware!
Those wounds heal ill that men do give themselves.
Omission to do what is necessary
Seals a commission to a blank of danger,
And danger, like an ague, subtly taints
Even then when they sit idly in the sun.
ACHILLES
245
Go call Thersites hither, sweet Patroclus.
I’ll send the fool to Ajax and desire him
T’ invite the Trojan lords after the combat
To see us here unarmed. I have a woman’s longing,
An appetite that I am sick withal,
250
To see great Hector in his weeds of peace,
To talk with him, and to behold his visage,
Even to my full of view.
ACHILLES
Go call Thersites hither, sweet Patroclus.
I’ll send the fool to Ajax and desire him
T’ invite the Trojan lords after the combat
To see us here unarmed. I have a woman’s longing,
An appetite that I am sick withal,
To see great Hector in his weeds of peace,
To talk with him, and to behold his visage,
Even to my full of view.
Enter THERSITES.
Enter THERSITES.
A labor saved.
A labor saved.
THERSITES  
A wonder!
THERSITES  
A wonder!
ACHILLES  
255
What?
ACHILLES  
What?
THERSITES  
Ajax goes up and down the field, asking for
himself.
THERSITES  
Ajax goes up and down the field, asking for
himself.
ACHILLES  
How so?
ACHILLES  
How so?
THERSITES  
He must fight singly tomorrow with Hector
260
and is so prophetically proud of an heroical cudgeling
that he raves in saying nothing.
THERSITES  
He must fight singly tomorrow with Hector
and is so prophetically proud of an heroical cudgeling
that he raves in saying nothing.
ACHILLES  
How can that be?
ACHILLES  
How can that be?
THERSITES  
Why, he stalks up and down like a peacock—
a stride and a stand; ruminates like an hostess
265
that hath no arithmetic but her brain to set
down her reckoning; bites his lip with a politic regard,
as who should say “There were wit in this
head an ’twould out”—and so there is, but it lies
as coldly in him as fire in a flint, which will not
270
show without knocking. The man’s undone forever,
for if Hector break not his neck i’ th’ combat,
he’ll break ’t himself in vainglory. He knows not
me. I said “Good morrow, Ajax,” and he replies
“Thanks, Agamemnon.” What think you of this
275
man that takes me for the General? He’s grown a
very land-fish, languageless, a monster. A plague of
opinion! A man may wear it on both sides, like a
leather jerkin.
THERSITES  
Why, he stalks up and down like a peacock—
a stride and a stand; ruminates like an hostess
that hath no arithmetic but her brain to set
down her reckoning; bites his lip with a politic regard,
as who should say “There were wit in this
head an ’twould out”—and so there is, but it lies
as coldly in him as fire in a flint, which will not
show without knocking. The man’s undone forever,
for if Hector break not his neck i’ th’ combat,
he’ll break ’t himself in vainglory. He knows not
me. I said “Good morrow, Ajax,” and he replies
“Thanks, Agamemnon.” What think you of this
man that takes me for the General? He’s grown a
very land-fish, languageless, a monster. A plague of
opinion! A man may wear it on both sides, like a
leather jerkin.
ACHILLES  
Thou must be my ambassador to him,
280
Thersites.
ACHILLES  
Thou must be my ambassador to him,
Thersites.
THERSITES  
Who, I? Why, he’ll answer nobody. He professes
not answering; speaking is for beggars; he
wears his tongue in ’s arms. I will put on his presence.
Let Patroclus make his demands to me. You
285
shall see the pageant of Ajax.
THERSITES  
Who, I? Why, he’ll answer nobody. He professes
not answering; speaking is for beggars; he
wears his tongue in ’s arms. I will put on his presence.
Let Patroclus make his demands to me. You
shall see the pageant of Ajax.
ACHILLES  
To him, Patroclus. Tell him I humbly desire
the valiant Ajax to invite the most valorous Hector
to come unarmed to my tent, and to procure safe-conduct
for his person of the magnanimous and
290
most illustrious, six-or-seven-times-honored captain
general of the Grecian army, Agamemnon,
et cetera. Do this.
ACHILLES  
To him, Patroclus. Tell him I humbly desire
the valiant Ajax to invite the most valorous Hector
to come unarmed to my tent, and to procure safe-conduct
for his person of the magnanimous and
most illustrious, six-or-seven-times-honored captain
general of the Grecian army, Agamemnon,
et cetera. Do this.
PATROCLUS , to THERSITES, who is playing AJAX
Jove
bless great Ajax.
PATROCLUS , to THERSITES, who is playing AJAX
Jove
bless great Ajax.
THERSITES  
295
Hum!
THERSITES  
Hum!
PATROCLUS  
I come from the worthy Achilles—
PATROCLUS  
I come from the worthy Achilles—
THERSITES  
Ha?
THERSITES  
Ha?
PATROCLUS  
Who most humbly desires you to invite
Hector to his tent—
PATROCLUS  
Who most humbly desires you to invite
Hector to his tent—
THERSITES  
300
Hum!
THERSITES  
Hum!
PATROCLUS  
And to procure safe-conduct from
Agamemnon.
PATROCLUS  
And to procure safe-conduct from
Agamemnon.
THERSITES  
Agamemnon?
THERSITES  
Agamemnon?
PATROCLUS  
Ay, my lord.
PATROCLUS  
Ay, my lord.
THERSITES  
305
Ha!
THERSITES  
Ha!
PATROCLUS  
What say you to ’t?
PATROCLUS  
What say you to ’t?
THERSITES  
God b’ wi’ you, with all my heart.
THERSITES  
God b’ wi’ you, with all my heart.
PATROCLUS  
Your answer, sir.
PATROCLUS  
Your answer, sir.
THERSITES  
If tomorrow be a fair day, by eleven of the
310
clock it will go one way or other. Howsoever, he
shall pay for me ere he has me.
THERSITES  
If tomorrow be a fair day, by eleven of the
clock it will go one way or other. Howsoever, he
shall pay for me ere he has me.
PATROCLUS  
Your answer, sir.
PATROCLUS  
Your answer, sir.
THERSITES  
Fare you well with all my heart.
THERSITES  
Fare you well with all my heart.
He pretends to exit.
He pretends to exit.
ACHILLES  
Why, but he is not in this tune, is he?
ACHILLES  
Why, but he is not in this tune, is he?
THERSITES  
315
No, but he’s out of tune thus. What music
will be in him when Hector has knocked out his
brains I know not. But I am sure none, unless the
fiddler Apollo get his sinews to make catlings on.
THERSITES  
No, but he’s out of tune thus. What music
will be in him when Hector has knocked out his
brains I know not. But I am sure none, unless the
fiddler Apollo get his sinews to make catlings on.
ACHILLES  
Come, thou shalt bear a letter to him
320
straight.
ACHILLES  
Come, thou shalt bear a letter to him
straight.
THERSITES  
Let me bear another to his horse, for that’s
the more capable creature.
THERSITES  
Let me bear another to his horse, for that’s
the more capable creature.
ACHILLES
My mind is troubled, like a fountain stirred,
And I myself see not the bottom of it.
ACHILLES
My mind is troubled, like a fountain stirred,
And I myself see not the bottom of it.
ACHILLES and PATROCLUS exit.
ACHILLES and PATROCLUS exit.
THERSITES  
325
Would the fountain of your mind were clear
again, that I might water an ass at it. I had rather
be a tick in a sheep than such a valiant ignorance.
THERSITES  
Would the fountain of your mind were clear
again, that I might water an ass at it. I had rather
be a tick in a sheep than such a valiant ignorance.
He exits.
He exits.

Original Text

Modern Text

Flourish. Enter ULYSSES, DIOMEDES, NESTOR,
AGAMEMNON , CALCHAS, MENELAUS, and AJAX.
Flourish. Enter ULYSSES, DIOMEDES, NESTOR,
AGAMEMNON , CALCHAS, MENELAUS, and AJAX.
CALCHAS
Now, princes, for the service I have done you,
Th’ advantage of the time prompts me aloud
To call for recompense. Appear it to your mind
That, through the sight I bear in things to come,
5
I have abandoned Troy, left my possessions,
Incurred a traitor’s name, exposed myself,
From certain and possessed conveniences,
To doubtful fortunes, sequest’ring from me all
That time, acquaintance, custom, and condition
10
Made tame and most familiar to my nature,
And here, to do you service, am become
As new into the world, strange, unacquainted.
I do beseech you, as in way of taste,
To give me now a little benefit
15
Out of those many regist’red in promise,
Which you say live to come in my behalf.
CALCHAS
Now, princes, for the service I have done you,
Th’ advantage of the time prompts me aloud
To call for recompense. Appear it to your mind
That, through the sight I bear in things to come,
I have abandoned Troy, left my possessions,
Incurred a traitor’s name, exposed myself,
From certain and possessed conveniences,
To doubtful fortunes, sequest’ring from me all
That time, acquaintance, custom, and condition
Made tame and most familiar to my nature,
And here, to do you service, am become
As new into the world, strange, unacquainted.
I do beseech you, as in way of taste,
To give me now a little benefit
Out of those many regist’red in promise,
Which you say live to come in my behalf.
AGAMEMNON
What wouldst thou of us, Trojan, make demand?
AGAMEMNON
What wouldst thou of us, Trojan, make demand?
CALCHAS
You have a Trojan prisoner called Antenor
Yesterday took. Troy holds him very dear.
20
Oft have you—often have you thanks therefor—
Desired my Cressid in right great exchange,
Whom Troy hath still denied; but this Antenor,
I know, is such a wrest in their affairs
That their negotiations all must slack,
25
Wanting his manage; and they will almost
Give us a prince of blood, a son of Priam,
In change of him. Let him be sent, great princes,
And he shall buy my daughter; and her presence
Shall quite strike off all service I have done
30
In most accepted pain.
CALCHAS
You have a Trojan prisoner called Antenor
Yesterday took. Troy holds him very dear.
Oft have you—often have you thanks therefor—
Desired my Cressid in right great exchange,
Whom Troy hath still denied; but this Antenor,
I know, is such a wrest in their affairs
That their negotiations all must slack,
Wanting his manage; and they will almost
Give us a prince of blood, a son of Priam,
In change of him. Let him be sent, great princes,
And he shall buy my daughter; and her presence
Shall quite strike off all service I have done
In most accepted pain.
AGAMEMNON  
Let Diomedes bear him,
And bring us Cressid hither. Calchas shall have
What he requests of us. Good Diomed,
Furnish you fairly for this interchange.
35
Withal, bring word if Hector will tomorrow
Be answered in his challenge. Ajax is ready.
AGAMEMNON  
Let Diomedes bear him,
And bring us Cressid hither. Calchas shall have
What he requests of us. Good Diomed,
Furnish you fairly for this interchange.
Withal, bring word if Hector will tomorrow
Be answered in his challenge. Ajax is ready.
DIOMEDES
This shall I undertake, and ’tis a burden
Which I am proud to bear.
DIOMEDES
This shall I undertake, and ’tis a burden
Which I am proud to bear.
He exits with CALCHAS.
ACHILLES and PATROCLUS stand in their tent.
He exits with CALCHAS.
ACHILLES and PATROCLUS stand in their tent.
ULYSSES
Achilles stands i’ th’ entrance of his tent.
40
Please it our General pass strangely by him
As if he were forgot, and, princes all,
Lay negligent and loose regard upon him.
I will come last. ’Tis like he’ll question me
Why such unplausive eyes are bent, why turned on
45
him.
If so, I have derision medicinable
To use between your strangeness and his pride,
Which his own will shall have desire to drink.
It may do good; pride hath no other glass
50
To show itself but pride, for supple knees
Feed arrogance and are the proud man’s fees.
ULYSSES
Achilles stands i’ th’ entrance of his tent.
Please it our General pass strangely by him
As if he were forgot, and, princes all,
Lay negligent and loose regard upon him.
I will come last. ’Tis like he’ll question me
Why such unplausive eyes are bent, why turned on
him.
If so, I have derision medicinable
To use between your strangeness and his pride,
Which his own will shall have desire to drink.
It may do good; pride hath no other glass
To show itself but pride, for supple knees
Feed arrogance and are the proud man’s fees.
AGAMEMNON
We’ll execute your purpose and put on
A form of strangeness as we pass along;
So do each lord, and either greet him not
55
Or else disdainfully, which shall shake him more
Than if not looked on. I will lead the way.
AGAMEMNON
We’ll execute your purpose and put on
A form of strangeness as we pass along;
So do each lord, and either greet him not
Or else disdainfully, which shall shake him more
Than if not looked on. I will lead the way.
They pass before ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. ULYSSES
remains in place, reading.
They pass before ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. ULYSSES
remains in place, reading.
ACHILLES
What, comes the General to speak with me?
You know my mind: I’ll fight no more ’gainst Troy.
ACHILLES
What, comes the General to speak with me?
You know my mind: I’ll fight no more ’gainst Troy.
AGAMEMNON , to NESTOR
What says Achilles? Would he aught with us?
AGAMEMNON , to NESTOR
What says Achilles? Would he aught with us?
NESTOR , to ACHILLES
60
Would you, my lord, aught with the General?
NESTOR , to ACHILLES
Would you, my lord, aught with the General?
ACHILLES  
No.
ACHILLES  
No.
NESTOR  
Nothing, my lord.
NESTOR  
Nothing, my lord.
AGAMEMNON  
The better.
AGAMEMNON  
The better.
AGAMEMNON and NESTOR exit.
AGAMEMNON and NESTOR exit.
ACHILLES , to MENELAUS
Good day, good day.
ACHILLES , to MENELAUS
Good day, good day.
MENELAUS  
65
How do you? How do you? He exits.
MENELAUS  
How do you? How do you? He exits.
ACHILLES  
What, does the cuckold scorn me?
ACHILLES  
What, does the cuckold scorn me?
AJAX  
How now, Patroclus?
AJAX  
How now, Patroclus?
ACHILLES  
Good morrow, Ajax.
ACHILLES  
Good morrow, Ajax.
AJAX  
Ha?
AJAX  
Ha?
ACHILLES  
70
Good morrow.
ACHILLES  
Good morrow.
AJAX  
Ay, and good next day too.
AJAX  
Ay, and good next day too.
He exits. He exits.
ACHILLES
What mean these fellows? Know they not Achilles?
ACHILLES
What mean these fellows? Know they not Achilles?
PATROCLUS
They pass by strangely. They were used to bend,
To send their smiles before them to Achilles,
75
To come as humbly as they use to creep
To holy altars.
PATROCLUS
They pass by strangely. They were used to bend,
To send their smiles before them to Achilles,
To come as humbly as they use to creep
To holy altars.
ACHILLES  
What, am I poor of late?
’Tis certain, greatness, once fall’n out with Fortune,
Must fall out with men too. What the declined is
80
He shall as soon read in the eyes of others
As feel in his own fall, for men, like butterflies,
Show not their mealy wings but to the summer,
And not a man, for being simply man,
Hath any honor, but honor for those honors
85
That are without him—as place, riches, and favor,
Prizes of accident as oft as merit,
Which, when they fall, as being slippery slanders,
The love that leaned on them, as slippery too,
Doth one pluck down another and together
90
Die in the fall. But ’tis not so with me.
Fortune and I are friends. I do enjoy,
At ample point, all that I did possess,
Save these men’s looks, who do, methinks, find out
Something not worth in me such rich beholding
95
As they have often given. Here is Ulysses.
I’ll interrupt his reading.—How now, Ulysses?
ACHILLES  
What, am I poor of late?
’Tis certain, greatness, once fall’n out with Fortune,
Must fall out with men too. What the declined is
He shall as soon read in the eyes of others
As feel in his own fall, for men, like butterflies,
Show not their mealy wings but to the summer,
And not a man, for being simply man,
Hath any honor, but honor for those honors
That are without him—as place, riches, and favor,
Prizes of accident as oft as merit,
Which, when they fall, as being slippery slanders,
The love that leaned on them, as slippery too,
Doth one pluck down another and together
Die in the fall. But ’tis not so with me.
Fortune and I are friends. I do enjoy,
At ample point, all that I did possess,
Save these men’s looks, who do, methinks, find out
Something not worth in me such rich beholding
As they have often given. Here is Ulysses.
I’ll interrupt his reading.—How now, Ulysses?
ULYSSES  
Now, great Thetis’ son—
ULYSSES  
Now, great Thetis’ son—
ACHILLES  
What are you reading?
ACHILLES  
What are you reading?
ULYSSES  
A strange fellow here
100
Writes me that man, how dearly ever parted,
How much in having, or without or in,
Cannot make boast to have that which he hath,
Nor feels not what he owes, but by reflection;
As when his virtues, shining upon others,
105
Heat them, and they retort that heat again
To the first giver.
ULYSSES  
A strange fellow here
Writes me that man, how dearly ever parted,
How much in having, or without or in,
Cannot make boast to have that which he hath,
Nor feels not what he owes, but by reflection;
As when his virtues, shining upon others,
Heat them, and they retort that heat again
To the first giver.
ACHILLES  
This is not strange, Ulysses.
The beauty that is borne here in the face
The bearer knows not, but commends itself
110
To others’ eyes; nor doth the eye itself,
That most pure spirit of sense, behold itself,
Not going from itself, but eye to eye opposed
Salutes each other with each other’s form.
For speculation turns not to itself
115
Till it hath traveled and is mirrored there
Where it may see itself. This is not strange at all.
ACHILLES  
This is not strange, Ulysses.
The beauty that is borne here in the face
The bearer knows not, but commends itself
To others’ eyes; nor doth the eye itself,
That most pure spirit of sense, behold itself,
Not going from itself, but eye to eye opposed
Salutes each other with each other’s form.
For speculation turns not to itself
Till it hath traveled and is mirrored there
Where it may see itself. This is not strange at all.
ULYSSES
I do not strain at the position—
It is familiar—but at the author’s drift,
Who in his circumstance expressly proves
120
That no man is the lord of anything—
Though in and of him there be much consisting—
Till he communicate his parts to others;
Nor doth he of himself know them for aught
Till he behold them formed in the applause
125
Where they’re extended; who, like an arch, reverb’rate
The voice again or, like a gate of steel
Fronting the sun, receives and renders back
His figure and his heat. I was much rapt in this
And apprehended here immediately
130
Th’ unknown Ajax. Heavens, what a man is there!
A very horse, that has he knows not what!
Nature, what things there are
Most abject in regard, and dear in use,
What things again most dear in the esteem
135
And poor in worth! Now shall we see tomorrow—
An act that very chance doth throw upon him—
Ajax renowned. O, heavens, what some men do
While some men leave to do!
How some men creep in skittish Fortune’s hall,
140
Whiles others play the idiots in her eyes!
How one man eats into another’s pride,
While pride is fasting in his wantonness!
To see these Grecian lords—why, even already
They clap the lubber Ajax on the shoulder
145
As if his foot were on brave Hector’s breast
And great Troy shrieking.
ULYSSES
I do not strain at the position—
It is familiar—but at the author’s drift,
Who in his circumstance expressly proves
That no man is the lord of anything—
Though in and of him there be much consisting—
Till he communicate his parts to others;
Nor doth he of himself know them for aught
Till he behold them formed in the applause
Where they’re extended; who, like an arch, reverb’rate
The voice again or, like a gate of steel
Fronting the sun, receives and renders back
His figure and his heat. I was much rapt in this
And apprehended here immediately
Th’ unknown Ajax. Heavens, what a man is there!
A very horse, that has he knows not what!
Nature, what things there are
Most abject in regard, and dear in use,
What things again most dear in the esteem
And poor in worth! Now shall we see tomorrow—
An act that very chance doth throw upon him—
Ajax renowned. O, heavens, what some men do
While some men leave to do!
How some men creep in skittish Fortune’s hall,
Whiles others play the idiots in her eyes!
How one man eats into another’s pride,
While pride is fasting in his wantonness!
To see these Grecian lords—why, even already
They clap the lubber Ajax on the shoulder
As if his foot were on brave Hector’s breast
And great Troy shrieking.
ACHILLES
I do believe it, for they passed by me
As misers do by beggars, neither gave to me
Good word nor look. What, are my deeds forgot?
ACHILLES
I do believe it, for they passed by me
As misers do by beggars, neither gave to me
Good word nor look. What, are my deeds forgot?
ULYSSES
150
Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back
Wherein he puts alms for oblivion,
A great-sized monster of ingratitudes.
Those scraps are good deeds past, which are devoured
As fast as they are made, forgot as soon
155
As done. Perseverance, dear my lord,
Keeps honor bright. To have done is to hang
Quite out of fashion like a rusty mail
In monumental mock’ry. Take the instant way,
For honor travels in a strait so narrow
160
Where one but goes abreast. Keep, then, the path,
For Emulation hath a thousand sons
That one by one pursue. If you give way
Or turn aside from the direct forthright,
Like to an entered tide they all rush by
165
And leave you hindmost;
Or, like a gallant horse fall’n in first rank,
Lie there for pavement to the abject rear,
O’errun and trampled on. Then what they do in
present,
170
Though less than yours in past, must o’ertop yours;
For Time is like a fashionable host
That slightly shakes his parting guest by th’ hand
And, with his arms outstretched as he would fly,
Grasps in the comer. Welcome ever smiles,
175
And Farewell goes out sighing. Let not virtue seek
Remuneration for the thing it was,
For beauty, wit,
High birth, vigor of bone, desert in service,
Love, friendship, charity are subjects all
180
To envious and calumniating Time.
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin,
That all, with one consent, praise newborn gauds,
Though they are made and molded of things past,
And give to dust that is a little gilt
185
More laud than gilt o’erdusted.
The present eye praises the present object.
Then marvel not, thou great and complete man,
That all the Greeks begin to worship Ajax,
Since things in motion sooner catch the eye
190
Than what stirs not. The cry went once on thee,
And still it might, and yet it may again,
If thou wouldst not entomb thyself alive
And case thy reputation in thy tent,
Whose glorious deeds but in these fields of late
195
Made emulous missions ’mongst the gods themselves
And drave great Mars to faction.
ULYSSES
Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back
Wherein he puts alms for oblivion,
A great-sized monster of ingratitudes.
Those scraps are good deeds past, which are devoured
As fast as they are made, forgot as soon
As done. Perseverance, dear my lord,
Keeps honor bright. To have done is to hang
Quite out of fashion like a rusty mail
In monumental mock’ry. Take the instant way,
For honor travels in a strait so narrow
Where one but goes abreast. Keep, then, the path,
For Emulation hath a thousand sons
That one by one pursue. If you give way
Or turn aside from the direct forthright,
Like to an entered tide they all rush by
And leave you hindmost;
Or, like a gallant horse fall’n in first rank,
Lie there for pavement to the abject rear,
O’errun and trampled on. Then what they do in
present,
Though less than yours in past, must o’ertop yours;
For Time is like a fashionable host
That slightly shakes his parting guest by th’ hand
And, with his arms outstretched as he would fly,
Grasps in the comer. Welcome ever smiles,
And Farewell goes out sighing. Let not virtue seek
Remuneration for the thing it was,
For beauty, wit,
High birth, vigor of bone, desert in service,
Love, friendship, charity are subjects all
To envious and calumniating Time.
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin,
That all, with one consent, praise newborn gauds,
Though they are made and molded of things past,
And give to dust that is a little gilt
More laud than gilt o’erdusted.
The present eye praises the present object.
Then marvel not, thou great and complete man,
That all the Greeks begin to worship Ajax,
Since things in motion sooner catch the eye
Than what stirs not. The cry went once on thee,
And still it might, and yet it may again,
If thou wouldst not entomb thyself alive
And case thy reputation in thy tent,
Whose glorious deeds but in these fields of late
Made emulous missions ’mongst the gods themselves
And drave great Mars to faction.
ACHILLES  
Of this my privacy,
I have strong reasons.
ACHILLES  
Of this my privacy,
I have strong reasons.
ULYSSES  
But ’gainst your privacy
200
The reasons are more potent and heroical.
’Tis known, Achilles, that you are in love
With one of Priam’s daughters.
ULYSSES  
But ’gainst your privacy
The reasons are more potent and heroical.
’Tis known, Achilles, that you are in love
With one of Priam’s daughters.
ACHILLES  
Ha? Known?
ACHILLES  
Ha? Known?
ULYSSES  
Is that a wonder?
205
The providence that’s in a watchful state
Knows almost every grain of Pluto’s gold,
Finds bottom in the uncomprehensive deep,
Keeps place with thought and almost, like the gods,
Do thoughts unveil in their dumb cradles.
210
There is a mystery—with whom relation
Durst never meddle—in the soul of state,
Which hath an operation more divine
Than breath or pen can give expressure to.
All the commerce that you have had with Troy
215
As perfectly is ours as yours, my lord;
And better would it fit Achilles much
To throw down Hector than Polyxena.
But it must grieve young Pyrrhus now at home
When Fame shall in our islands sound her trump,
220
And all the Greekish girls shall tripping sing
“Great Hector’s sister did Achilles win,
But our great Ajax bravely beat down him.”
Farewell, my lord. I as your lover speak.
The fool slides o’er the ice that you should break.
ULYSSES  
Is that a wonder?
The providence that’s in a watchful state
Knows almost every grain of Pluto’s gold,
Finds bottom in the uncomprehensive deep,
Keeps place with thought and almost, like the gods,
Do thoughts unveil in their dumb cradles.
There is a mystery—with whom relation
Durst never meddle—in the soul of state,
Which hath an operation more divine
Than breath or pen can give expressure to.
All the commerce that you have had with Troy
As perfectly is ours as yours, my lord;
And better would it fit Achilles much
To throw down Hector than Polyxena.
But it must grieve young Pyrrhus now at home
When Fame shall in our islands sound her trump,
And all the Greekish girls shall tripping sing
“Great Hector’s sister did Achilles win,
But our great Ajax bravely beat down him.”
Farewell, my lord. I as your lover speak.
The fool slides o’er the ice that you should break.
He exits.
He exits.
PATROCLUS
225
To this effect, Achilles, have I moved you.
A woman impudent and mannish grown
Is not more loathed than an effeminate man
In time of action. I stand condemned for this.
They think my little stomach to the war,
230
And your great love to me, restrains you thus.
Sweet, rouse yourself, and the weak wanton Cupid
Shall from your neck unloose his amorous fold
And, like a dewdrop from the lion’s mane,
Be shook to air.
PATROCLUS
To this effect, Achilles, have I moved you.
A woman impudent and mannish grown
Is not more loathed than an effeminate man
In time of action. I stand condemned for this.
They think my little stomach to the war,
And your great love to me, restrains you thus.
Sweet, rouse yourself, and the weak wanton Cupid
Shall from your neck unloose his amorous fold
And, like a dewdrop from the lion’s mane,
Be shook to air.
ACHILLES  
235
Shall Ajax fight with Hector?
ACHILLES  
Shall Ajax fight with Hector?
PATROCLUS
Ay, and perhaps receive much honor by him.
PATROCLUS
Ay, and perhaps receive much honor by him.
ACHILLES
I see my reputation is at stake;
My fame is shrewdly gored.
ACHILLES
I see my reputation is at stake;
My fame is shrewdly gored.
PATROCLUS  
O, then, beware!
240
Those wounds heal ill that men do give themselves.
Omission to do what is necessary
Seals a commission to a blank of danger,
And danger, like an ague, subtly taints
Even then when they sit idly in the sun.
PATROCLUS  
O, then, beware!
Those wounds heal ill that men do give themselves.
Omission to do what is necessary
Seals a commission to a blank of danger,
And danger, like an ague, subtly taints
Even then when they sit idly in the sun.
ACHILLES
245
Go call Thersites hither, sweet Patroclus.
I’ll send the fool to Ajax and desire him
T’ invite the Trojan lords after the combat
To see us here unarmed. I have a woman’s longing,
An appetite that I am sick withal,
250
To see great Hector in his weeds of peace,
To talk with him, and to behold his visage,
Even to my full of view.
ACHILLES
Go call Thersites hither, sweet Patroclus.
I’ll send the fool to Ajax and desire him
T’ invite the Trojan lords after the combat
To see us here unarmed. I have a woman’s longing,
An appetite that I am sick withal,
To see great Hector in his weeds of peace,
To talk with him, and to behold his visage,
Even to my full of view.
Enter THERSITES.
Enter THERSITES.
A labor saved.
A labor saved.
THERSITES  
A wonder!
THERSITES  
A wonder!
ACHILLES  
255
What?
ACHILLES  
What?
THERSITES  
Ajax goes up and down the field, asking for
himself.
THERSITES  
Ajax goes up and down the field, asking for
himself.
ACHILLES  
How so?
ACHILLES  
How so?
THERSITES  
He must fight singly tomorrow with Hector
260
and is so prophetically proud of an heroical cudgeling
that he raves in saying nothing.
THERSITES  
He must fight singly tomorrow with Hector
and is so prophetically proud of an heroical cudgeling
that he raves in saying nothing.
ACHILLES  
How can that be?
ACHILLES  
How can that be?
THERSITES  
Why, he stalks up and down like a peacock—
a stride and a stand; ruminates like an hostess
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that hath no arithmetic but her brain to set
down her reckoning; bites his lip with a politic regard,
as who should say “There were wit in this
head an ’twould out”—and so there is, but it lies
as coldly in him as fire in a flint, which will not
270
show without knocking. The man’s undone forever,
for if Hector break not his neck i’ th’ combat,
he’ll break ’t himself in vainglory. He knows not
me. I said “Good morrow, Ajax,” and he replies
“Thanks, Agamemnon.” What think you of this
275
man that takes me for the General? He’s grown a
very land-fish, languageless, a monster. A plague of
opinion! A man may wear it on both sides, like a
leather jerkin.
THERSITES  
Why, he stalks up and down like a peacock—
a stride and a stand; ruminates like an hostess
that hath no arithmetic but her brain to set
down her reckoning; bites his lip with a politic regard,
as who should say “There were wit in this
head an ’twould out”—and so there is, but it lies
as coldly in him as fire in a flint, which will not
show without knocking. The man’s undone forever,
for if Hector break not his neck i’ th’ combat,
he’ll break ’t himself in vainglory. He knows not
me. I said “Good morrow, Ajax,” and he replies
“Thanks, Agamemnon.” What think you of this
man that takes me for the General? He’s grown a
very land-fish, languageless, a monster. A plague of
opinion! A man may wear it on both sides, like a
leather jerkin.
ACHILLES  
Thou must be my ambassador to him,
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Thersites.
ACHILLES  
Thou must be my ambassador to him,
Thersites.
THERSITES  
Who, I? Why, he’ll answer nobody. He professes
not answering; speaking is for beggars; he
wears his tongue in ’s arms. I will put on his presence.
Let Patroclus make his demands to me. You
285
shall see the pageant of Ajax.
THERSITES  
Who, I? Why, he’ll answer nobody. He professes
not answering; speaking is for beggars; he
wears his tongue in ’s arms. I will put on his presence.
Let Patroclus make his demands to me. You
shall see the pageant of Ajax.
ACHILLES  
To him, Patroclus. Tell him I humbly desire
the valiant Ajax to invite the most valorous Hector
to come unarmed to my tent, and to procure safe-conduct
for his person of the magnanimous and
290
most illustrious, six-or-seven-times-honored captain
general of the Grecian army, Agamemnon,
et cetera. Do this.
ACHILLES  
To him, Patroclus. Tell him I humbly desire
the valiant Ajax to invite the most valorous Hector
to come unarmed to my tent, and to procure safe-conduct
for his person of the magnanimous and
most illustrious, six-or-seven-times-honored captain
general of the Grecian army, Agamemnon,
et cetera. Do this.
PATROCLUS , to THERSITES, who is playing AJAX
Jove
bless great Ajax.
PATROCLUS , to THERSITES, who is playing AJAX
Jove
bless great Ajax.
THERSITES  
295
Hum!
THERSITES  
Hum!
PATROCLUS  
I come from the worthy Achilles—
PATROCLUS  
I come from the worthy Achilles—
THERSITES  
Ha?
THERSITES  
Ha?
PATROCLUS  
Who most humbly desires you to invite
Hector to his tent—
PATROCLUS  
Who most humbly desires you to invite
Hector to his tent—
THERSITES  
300
Hum!
THERSITES  
Hum!
PATROCLUS  
And to procure safe-conduct from
Agamemnon.
PATROCLUS  
And to procure safe-conduct from
Agamemnon.
THERSITES  
Agamemnon?
THERSITES  
Agamemnon?
PATROCLUS  
Ay, my lord.
PATROCLUS  
Ay, my lord.
THERSITES  
305
Ha!
THERSITES  
Ha!
PATROCLUS  
What say you to ’t?
PATROCLUS  
What say you to ’t?
THERSITES  
God b’ wi’ you, with all my heart.
THERSITES  
God b’ wi’ you, with all my heart.
PATROCLUS  
Your answer, sir.
PATROCLUS  
Your answer, sir.
THERSITES  
If tomorrow be a fair day, by eleven of the
310
clock it will go one way or other. Howsoever, he
shall pay for me ere he has me.
THERSITES  
If tomorrow be a fair day, by eleven of the
clock it will go one way or other. Howsoever, he
shall pay for me ere he has me.
PATROCLUS  
Your answer, sir.
PATROCLUS  
Your answer, sir.
THERSITES  
Fare you well with all my heart.
THERSITES  
Fare you well with all my heart.
He pretends to exit.
He pretends to exit.
ACHILLES  
Why, but he is not in this tune, is he?
ACHILLES  
Why, but he is not in this tune, is he?
THERSITES  
315
No, but he’s out of tune thus. What music
will be in him when Hector has knocked out his
brains I know not. But I am sure none, unless the
fiddler Apollo get his sinews to make catlings on.
THERSITES  
No, but he’s out of tune thus. What music
will be in him when Hector has knocked out his
brains I know not. But I am sure none, unless the
fiddler Apollo get his sinews to make catlings on.
ACHILLES  
Come, thou shalt bear a letter to him
320
straight.
ACHILLES  
Come, thou shalt bear a letter to him
straight.
THERSITES  
Let me bear another to his horse, for that’s
the more capable creature.
THERSITES  
Let me bear another to his horse, for that’s
the more capable creature.
ACHILLES
My mind is troubled, like a fountain stirred,
And I myself see not the bottom of it.
ACHILLES
My mind is troubled, like a fountain stirred,
And I myself see not the bottom of it.
ACHILLES and PATROCLUS exit.
ACHILLES and PATROCLUS exit.
THERSITES  
325
Would the fountain of your mind were clear
again, that I might water an ass at it. I had rather
be a tick in a sheep than such a valiant ignorance.
THERSITES  
Would the fountain of your mind were clear
again, that I might water an ass at it. I had rather
be a tick in a sheep than such a valiant ignorance.
He exits.
He exits.

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