How to Win Friends and Influence People Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You Summary & Analysis

Chapter 1—Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere

The fundamentals of how one should try to garner the interest of others is addressed in the first part of this chapter. Carnegie explains that all people are focused on themselves, so to capture interest from others, one must show interest in them. Showing interest in others will make them more interested. He uses a series of anecdotes including Howard Thurston, a successful stage magician and Theodore Roosevelt. Not only were they successful, but they were beloved. Carnegie explains that he made it a point to learn the birthdays of all his friends and when he showed that he remembered a friend’s birthday, that person was always quite pleased. The chapter closes with a few more anecdotes about individuals that found success in showing interest (whether in an attempt to generate sales or cultivate a friendship). The chapter ends with Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.

Chapter 2—A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression

“The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back,” says Carnegie. He states that smiling, whether to family members, friends, or business clients, will improve every interaction. Carnegie uses several anecdotes to show how someone’s disposition can change based on the expression of the person that they are dealing with. He also suggests that one’s happiness is not a result of external circumstances, but one’s internal frame of mind. The chapter closes with an essay from Elbert Hubbard and a posting from a department store that both stress the value of smiling. The chapter closes with Principle 2: Smile.

Chapter 3—If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble

The importance of remembering people’s names is the focus of this chapter, which features a series of anecdotes involving successful figures and how each dedicated themselves to remembering the names of those they interacted with. Jim Farley, a Postmaster General of the United States, claimed he could remember the names of 50,000 people. Carnegie states that this ability helped Franklin D. Roosevelt get elected, since Farley managed his campaign. Carnegie also discusses Andrew Carnegie and Napoleon the Third. He points out that people like to have their names memorialized, whether attached to libraries, museums, collections of art, or college buildings. The chapter ends with Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Chapter 4—An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist

To be regarded as a good conversationalist, one should be an attentive listener. Carnegie again uses personal anecdotes and stories about famous and successful people to relay the concept that most people seek a “sympathetic listener” to whom they can “unburden themselves.” This is just as vital in friendships, one’s home life, and in business. Carnegie states that most irate customers just want attention. It will make them feel important. One should try to supply questions that others in the conversation will enjoy answering. The chapter ends with Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Chapter 5—How to Interest People

Carnegie states that one should focus on the interests of others. Each of the anecdotes in this chapter involves a person who spends time studying the interests of someone else to gain favor with them. In each example, instead of asking directly for what they want, each person instead discusses the interests of the person that he or she is appealing to. The chapter ends with Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Chapter 6—How to Make People Like You Instantly

Carnegie again discusses how effective it can be to make someone else feel important. He states that phrases such as “I’m sorry to trouble you” or “Would you be so kind as to” make people feel respected and will generate more positive interactions. Carnegie argues that everyone an individual meets feels, in some way, superior to that individual. By recognizing, however, that each person feels superior, one can earn their trust and respect. Carnegie supplies several more anecdotes where an individual spent time as a good listener and showed praise for someone else’s interests. In each anecdote, the individual in question benefited greatly. The chapter ends with Principle 6: Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

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