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Modern Text |
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Enter VALENTINE and SPEED
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Enter VALENTINE and SPEED
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SPEED Sir, your glove.
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SPEED Sir, your glove.
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He offers a glove.
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He offers a glove.
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VALENTINE Not mine. My gloves are on.
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VALENTINE Not mine. My gloves are on.
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SPEED Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
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SPEED Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
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VALENTINE Ha! let me see. Ay, give it me, it’s mine.
5 Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Sylvia, Sylvia!
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VALENTINE Ha! let me see. Ay, give it me, it’s mine.
Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Sylvia, Sylvia!
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SPEED [Calling] Madam Sylvia! Madam Sylvia!
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SPEED [Calling] Madam Sylvia! Madam Sylvia!
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VALENTINE How now, sirrah?
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VALENTINE How now, sirrah?
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SPEED She is not within hearing, sir.
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SPEED She is not within hearing, sir.
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VALENTINE 10 Why, sir, who bade you call her?
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VALENTINE Why, sir, who bade you call her?
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SPEED Your worship, sir, or else I mistook.
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SPEED Your worship, sir, or else I mistook.
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VALENTINE Well, you’ll still be too forward.
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VALENTINE Well, you’ll still be too forward.
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SPEED And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
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SPEED And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
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VALENTINE Go to, sir. Tell me, do you know Madam Sylvia?
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VALENTINE Go to, sir. Tell me, do you know Madam Sylvia?
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SPEED 15 She that your worship loves?
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SPEED She that your worship loves?
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VALENTINE Why, how know you that I am in love?
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VALENTINE Why, how know you that I am in love?
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SPEED Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms, like a malcontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money. And now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
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SPEED Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms, like a malcontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money. And now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
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VALENTINE Are all these things perceived in me?
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VALENTINE Are all these things perceived in me?
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SPEED They are all perceived without ye.
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SPEED They are all perceived without ye.
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VALENTINE 20 Without me? They cannot.
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VALENTINE Without me? They cannot.
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SPEED Without you? Nay, that’s certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would. But you are so without these follies that these follies are within you, and shine through you
like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
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SPEED Without you? Nay, that’s certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would. But you are so without these follies that these follies are within you, and shine through you
like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
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VALENTINE But tell me, dost thou know my lady Sylvia?
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VALENTINE But tell me, dost thou know my lady Sylvia?
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SPEED She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
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SPEED She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
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VALENTINE 25 Hast thou observed that? Even she I mean.
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VALENTINE Hast thou observed that? Even she I mean.
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SPEED Why, sir, I know her not.
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SPEED Why, sir, I know her not.
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VALENTINE Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know’st her not?
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VALENTINE Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know’st her not?
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SPEED Is she not hard-favored, sir?
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SPEED Is she not hard-favored, sir?
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VALENTINE Not so fair, boy, as well-favored.
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VALENTINE Not so fair, boy, as well-favored.
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SPEED 30 Sir, I know that well enough.
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SPEED Sir, I know that well enough.
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VALENTINE What dost thou know?
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VALENTINE What dost thou know?
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SPEED That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favored.
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SPEED That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favored.
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VALENTINE I mean that her beauty is exquisite but her favor infinite.
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VALENTINE I mean that her beauty is exquisite but her favor infinite.
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SPEED That’s because the one is painted and the other out of all count.
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SPEED That’s because the one is painted and the other out of all count.
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VALENTINE 35 How painted? And how out of count?
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VALENTINE How painted? And how out of count?
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SPEED Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
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SPEED Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
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VALENTINE How esteem’st thou me? I account of her beauty.
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VALENTINE How esteem’st thou me? I account of her beauty.
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SPEED You never saw her since she was deformed.
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SPEED You never saw her since she was deformed.
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VALENTINE How long hath she been deformed?
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VALENTINE How long hath she been deformed?
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SPEED 40 Ever since you loved her.
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SPEED Ever since you loved her.
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VALENTINE I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful.
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VALENTINE I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful.
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SPEED If you love her, you cannot see her.
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SPEED If you love her, you cannot see her.
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VALENTINE Why?
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VALENTINE Why?
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SPEED Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered!
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SPEED Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered!
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VALENTINE 45 What should I see then?
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VALENTINE What should I see then?
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SPEED Your own present folly and her passing deformity; for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
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SPEED Your own present folly and her passing deformity; for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
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VALENTINE Belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
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VALENTINE Belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
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SPEED True, sir. I was in love with my bed. I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
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SPEED True, sir. I was in love with my bed. I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
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VALENTINE In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
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VALENTINE In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
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SPEED 50 I would you were set; so your affection would cease.
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SPEED I would you were set; so your affection would cease.
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VALENTINE Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
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VALENTINE Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
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SPEED And have you?
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SPEED And have you?
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VALENTINE I have.
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VALENTINE I have.
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SPEED Are they not lamely writ?
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SPEED Are they not lamely writ?
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VALENTINE 55 No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace, here she comes.
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VALENTINE No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace, here she comes.
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Enter SYLVIA
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Enter SYLVIA
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SPEED [Aside] O, excellent motion! O, exceeding puppet! Now will he interpret to her.
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SPEED [Aside] O, excellent motion! O, exceeding puppet! Now will he interpret to her.
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VALENTINE Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
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VALENTINE Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
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SPEED [Aside] O, give ye good even! Here’s a million of manners.
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SPEED [Aside] O, give ye good even! Here’s a million of manners.
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SYLVIA Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
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SYLVIA Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
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SPEED 60 [Aside] He should give her interest, and she gives it him.
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SPEED [Aside] He should give her interest, and she gives it him.
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VALENTINE As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter
Unto the secret, nameless friend of yours,
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
But for my duty to your ladyship.
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VALENTINE As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter
Unto the secret, nameless friend of yours,
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
But for my duty to your ladyship.
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He gives Sylvia a letter.
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He gives Sylvia a letter.
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SYLVIA 65 I thank you, gentle servant. ’Tis very clerkly done.
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SYLVIA I thank you, gentle servant. ’Tis very clerkly done.
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VALENTINE Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
For, being ignorant to whom it goes,
I writ at random, very doubtfully.
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VALENTINE Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
For, being ignorant to whom it goes,
I writ at random, very doubtfully.
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SYLVIA Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
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SYLVIA Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
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VALENTINE 70 No, madam. So it stead you, I will write—
Please you command—a thousand times as much.
And yet—
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VALENTINE No, madam. So it stead you, I will write—
Please you command—a thousand times as much.
And yet—
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SYLVIA A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
And yet I will not name it—and yet I care not—
75 And yet take this again—and yet I thank you,
Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
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SYLVIA A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
And yet I will not name it—and yet I care not—
And yet take this again—and yet I thank you,
Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
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She offers him the letter.
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She offers him the letter.
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SPEED [Aside] And yet you will, and yet another “yet.”
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SPEED [Aside] And yet you will, and yet another “yet.”
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VALENTINE What means your ladyship? Do you not like it?
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VALENTINE What means your ladyship? Do you not like it?
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SYLVIA Yes, yes. The lines are very quaintly writ,
80 But, since unwillingly, take them again.
Nay, take them.
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SYLVIA Yes, yes. The lines are very quaintly writ,
But, since unwillingly, take them again.
Nay, take them.
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She gives back the letter.
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She gives back the letter.
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VALENTINE Madam, they are for you.
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VALENTINE Madam, they are for you.
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SYLVIA Ay, ay. You writ them, sir, at my request,
But I will none of them. They are for you.
85 I would have had them writ more movingly.
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SYLVIA Ay, ay. You writ them, sir, at my request,
But I will none of them. They are for you.
I would have had them writ more movingly.
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VALENTINE Please you, I’ll write your ladyship another.
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VALENTINE Please you, I’ll write your ladyship another.
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SYLVIA And when it’s writ, for my sake read it over.
And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
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SYLVIA And when it’s writ, for my sake read it over.
And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
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VALENTINE If it please me, madam, what then?
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VALENTINE If it please me, madam, what then?
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SYLVIA 90 Why, if it please you, take it for your labor.
And so good morrow, servant.
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SYLVIA Why, if it please you, take it for your labor.
And so good morrow, servant.
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Exit SYLVIA
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Exit SYLVIA
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SPEED [Aside] O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible
As a nose on a man’s face or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor,
95 He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! Was there ever heard a better,
That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
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SPEED [Aside] O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible
As a nose on a man’s face or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor,
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! Was there ever heard a better,
That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
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VALENTINE How now, sir? What, are you reasoning with yourself?
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VALENTINE How now, sir? What, are you reasoning with yourself?
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SPEED Nay, I was rhyming. ’Tis you that have the reason.
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SPEED Nay, I was rhyming. ’Tis you that have the reason.
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VALENTINE 100 To do what?
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VALENTINE To do what?
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SPEED To be a spokesman from Madam Sylvia.
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SPEED To be a spokesman from Madam Sylvia.
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VALENTINE To whom?
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VALENTINE To whom?
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SPEED To yourself. Why, she woos you by a figure.
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SPEED To yourself. Why, she woos you by a figure.
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VALENTINE What figure?
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VALENTINE What figure?
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SPEED 105 By a letter, I should say.
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SPEED By a letter, I should say.
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VALENTINE Why, she hath not writ to me.
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VALENTINE Why, she hath not writ to me.
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SPEED What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
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SPEED What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
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VALENTINE No, believe me.
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VALENTINE No, believe me.
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SPEED No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive her earnest?
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SPEED No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive her earnest?
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VALENTINE 110 She gave me none, except an angry word.
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VALENTINE She gave me none, except an angry word.
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SPEED Why, she hath given you a letter.
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SPEED Why, she hath given you a letter.
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VALENTINE That’s the letter I writ to her friend.
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VALENTINE That’s the letter I writ to her friend.
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SPEED And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
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SPEED And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
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VALENTINE I would it were no worse.
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VALENTINE I would it were no worse.
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SPEED 115 I’ll warrant you, ’tis as well.
For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
120 All this I speak in print, for in print I found it. Why muse you, sir? ’Tis dinner time.
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SPEED I’ll warrant you, ’tis as well.
For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
All this I speak in print, for in print I found it. Why muse you, sir? ’Tis dinner time.
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VALENTINE I have dined.
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VALENTINE I have dined.
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SPEED Ay, but hearken, sir: though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved!
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SPEED Ay, but hearken, sir: though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved!
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Exeunt
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Exeunt
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Original Text |
Modern Text |
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Enter VALENTINE and SPEED
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Enter VALENTINE and SPEED
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SPEED Sir, your glove.
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SPEED Sir, your glove.
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He offers a glove.
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He offers a glove.
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VALENTINE Not mine. My gloves are on.
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VALENTINE Not mine. My gloves are on.
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SPEED Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
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SPEED Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
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VALENTINE Ha! let me see. Ay, give it me, it’s mine.
5 Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Sylvia, Sylvia!
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VALENTINE Ha! let me see. Ay, give it me, it’s mine.
Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Sylvia, Sylvia!
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SPEED [Calling] Madam Sylvia! Madam Sylvia!
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SPEED [Calling] Madam Sylvia! Madam Sylvia!
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VALENTINE How now, sirrah?
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VALENTINE How now, sirrah?
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SPEED She is not within hearing, sir.
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SPEED She is not within hearing, sir.
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VALENTINE 10 Why, sir, who bade you call her?
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VALENTINE Why, sir, who bade you call her?
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SPEED Your worship, sir, or else I mistook.
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SPEED Your worship, sir, or else I mistook.
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VALENTINE Well, you’ll still be too forward.
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VALENTINE Well, you’ll still be too forward.
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SPEED And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
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SPEED And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
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VALENTINE Go to, sir. Tell me, do you know Madam Sylvia?
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VALENTINE Go to, sir. Tell me, do you know Madam Sylvia?
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SPEED 15 She that your worship loves?
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SPEED She that your worship loves?
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VALENTINE Why, how know you that I am in love?
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VALENTINE Why, how know you that I am in love?
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SPEED Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms, like a malcontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money. And now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
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SPEED Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms, like a malcontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money. And now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
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VALENTINE Are all these things perceived in me?
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VALENTINE Are all these things perceived in me?
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SPEED They are all perceived without ye.
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SPEED They are all perceived without ye.
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VALENTINE 20 Without me? They cannot.
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VALENTINE Without me? They cannot.
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SPEED Without you? Nay, that’s certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would. But you are so without these follies that these follies are within you, and shine through you
like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
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SPEED Without you? Nay, that’s certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would. But you are so without these follies that these follies are within you, and shine through you
like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
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VALENTINE But tell me, dost thou know my lady Sylvia?
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VALENTINE But tell me, dost thou know my lady Sylvia?
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SPEED She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
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SPEED She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
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VALENTINE 25 Hast thou observed that? Even she I mean.
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VALENTINE Hast thou observed that? Even she I mean.
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SPEED Why, sir, I know her not.
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SPEED Why, sir, I know her not.
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VALENTINE Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know’st her not?
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VALENTINE Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know’st her not?
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SPEED Is she not hard-favored, sir?
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SPEED Is she not hard-favored, sir?
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VALENTINE Not so fair, boy, as well-favored.
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VALENTINE Not so fair, boy, as well-favored.
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SPEED 30 Sir, I know that well enough.
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SPEED Sir, I know that well enough.
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VALENTINE What dost thou know?
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VALENTINE What dost thou know?
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SPEED That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favored.
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SPEED That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favored.
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VALENTINE I mean that her beauty is exquisite but her favor infinite.
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VALENTINE I mean that her beauty is exquisite but her favor infinite.
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SPEED That’s because the one is painted and the other out of all count.
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SPEED That’s because the one is painted and the other out of all count.
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VALENTINE 35 How painted? And how out of count?
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VALENTINE How painted? And how out of count?
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SPEED Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
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SPEED Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
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VALENTINE How esteem’st thou me? I account of her beauty.
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VALENTINE How esteem’st thou me? I account of her beauty.
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SPEED You never saw her since she was deformed.
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SPEED You never saw her since she was deformed.
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VALENTINE How long hath she been deformed?
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VALENTINE How long hath she been deformed?
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SPEED 40 Ever since you loved her.
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SPEED Ever since you loved her.
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VALENTINE I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful.
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VALENTINE I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful.
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SPEED If you love her, you cannot see her.
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SPEED If you love her, you cannot see her.
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VALENTINE Why?
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VALENTINE Why?
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SPEED Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered!
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SPEED Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered!
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VALENTINE 45 What should I see then?
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VALENTINE What should I see then?
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SPEED Your own present folly and her passing deformity; for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
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SPEED Your own present folly and her passing deformity; for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
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VALENTINE Belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
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VALENTINE Belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
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SPEED True, sir. I was in love with my bed. I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
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SPEED True, sir. I was in love with my bed. I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
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VALENTINE In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
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VALENTINE In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
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SPEED 50 I would you were set; so your affection would cease.
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SPEED I would you were set; so your affection would cease.
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VALENTINE Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
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VALENTINE Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
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SPEED And have you?
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SPEED And have you?
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VALENTINE I have.
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VALENTINE I have.
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SPEED Are they not lamely writ?
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SPEED Are they not lamely writ?
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VALENTINE 55 No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace, here she comes.
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VALENTINE No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace, here she comes.
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Enter SYLVIA
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Enter SYLVIA
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SPEED [Aside] O, excellent motion! O, exceeding puppet! Now will he interpret to her.
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SPEED [Aside] O, excellent motion! O, exceeding puppet! Now will he interpret to her.
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VALENTINE Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
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VALENTINE Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
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SPEED [Aside] O, give ye good even! Here’s a million of manners.
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SPEED [Aside] O, give ye good even! Here’s a million of manners.
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SYLVIA Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
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SYLVIA Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
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SPEED 60 [Aside] He should give her interest, and she gives it him.
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SPEED [Aside] He should give her interest, and she gives it him.
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VALENTINE As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter
Unto the secret, nameless friend of yours,
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
But for my duty to your ladyship.
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VALENTINE As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter
Unto the secret, nameless friend of yours,
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
But for my duty to your ladyship.
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He gives Sylvia a letter.
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He gives Sylvia a letter.
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SYLVIA 65 I thank you, gentle servant. ’Tis very clerkly done.
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SYLVIA I thank you, gentle servant. ’Tis very clerkly done.
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VALENTINE Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
For, being ignorant to whom it goes,
I writ at random, very doubtfully.
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VALENTINE Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
For, being ignorant to whom it goes,
I writ at random, very doubtfully.
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SYLVIA Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
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SYLVIA Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
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VALENTINE 70 No, madam. So it stead you, I will write—
Please you command—a thousand times as much.
And yet—
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VALENTINE No, madam. So it stead you, I will write—
Please you command—a thousand times as much.
And yet—
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SYLVIA A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
And yet I will not name it—and yet I care not—
75 And yet take this again—and yet I thank you,
Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
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SYLVIA A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
And yet I will not name it—and yet I care not—
And yet take this again—and yet I thank you,
Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
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She offers him the letter.
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She offers him the letter.
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SPEED [Aside] And yet you will, and yet another “yet.”
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SPEED [Aside] And yet you will, and yet another “yet.”
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VALENTINE What means your ladyship? Do you not like it?
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VALENTINE What means your ladyship? Do you not like it?
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SYLVIA Yes, yes. The lines are very quaintly writ,
80 But, since unwillingly, take them again.
Nay, take them.
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SYLVIA Yes, yes. The lines are very quaintly writ,
But, since unwillingly, take them again.
Nay, take them.
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She gives back the letter.
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She gives back the letter.
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VALENTINE Madam, they are for you.
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VALENTINE Madam, they are for you.
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SYLVIA Ay, ay. You writ them, sir, at my request,
But I will none of them. They are for you.
85 I would have had them writ more movingly.
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SYLVIA Ay, ay. You writ them, sir, at my request,
But I will none of them. They are for you.
I would have had them writ more movingly.
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VALENTINE Please you, I’ll write your ladyship another.
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VALENTINE Please you, I’ll write your ladyship another.
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SYLVIA And when it’s writ, for my sake read it over.
And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
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SYLVIA And when it’s writ, for my sake read it over.
And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
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VALENTINE If it please me, madam, what then?
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VALENTINE If it please me, madam, what then?
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SYLVIA 90 Why, if it please you, take it for your labor.
And so good morrow, servant.
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SYLVIA Why, if it please you, take it for your labor.
And so good morrow, servant.
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Exit SYLVIA
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Exit SYLVIA
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SPEED [Aside] O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible
As a nose on a man’s face or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor,
95 He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! Was there ever heard a better,
That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
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SPEED [Aside] O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible
As a nose on a man’s face or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor,
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! Was there ever heard a better,
That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
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VALENTINE How now, sir? What, are you reasoning with yourself?
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VALENTINE How now, sir? What, are you reasoning with yourself?
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SPEED Nay, I was rhyming. ’Tis you that have the reason.
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SPEED Nay, I was rhyming. ’Tis you that have the reason.
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VALENTINE 100 To do what?
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VALENTINE To do what?
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SPEED To be a spokesman from Madam Sylvia.
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SPEED To be a spokesman from Madam Sylvia.
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VALENTINE To whom?
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VALENTINE To whom?
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SPEED To yourself. Why, she woos you by a figure.
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SPEED To yourself. Why, she woos you by a figure.
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VALENTINE What figure?
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VALENTINE What figure?
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SPEED 105 By a letter, I should say.
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SPEED By a letter, I should say.
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VALENTINE Why, she hath not writ to me.
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VALENTINE Why, she hath not writ to me.
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SPEED What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
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SPEED What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
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VALENTINE No, believe me.
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VALENTINE No, believe me.
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SPEED No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive her earnest?
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SPEED No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive her earnest?
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VALENTINE 110 She gave me none, except an angry word.
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VALENTINE She gave me none, except an angry word.
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SPEED Why, she hath given you a letter.
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SPEED Why, she hath given you a letter.
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VALENTINE That’s the letter I writ to her friend.
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VALENTINE That’s the letter I writ to her friend.
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SPEED And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
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SPEED And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
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VALENTINE I would it were no worse.
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VALENTINE I would it were no worse.
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SPEED 115 I’ll warrant you, ’tis as well.
For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
120 All this I speak in print, for in print I found it. Why muse you, sir? ’Tis dinner time.
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SPEED I’ll warrant you, ’tis as well.
For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
All this I speak in print, for in print I found it. Why muse you, sir? ’Tis dinner time.
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VALENTINE I have dined.
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VALENTINE I have dined.
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SPEED Ay, but hearken, sir: though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved!
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SPEED Ay, but hearken, sir: though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved!
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Exeunt
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Exeunt
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