Previous Next

The Second Agreement: “Don’t take anything personally.”

In describing the Second Agreement, Ruiz explains that personal importance, or the assumption that everything is about us, is what traps us further in the dream of hell. Not only is it selfishness taken to the extreme, but it also allows us to accept and agree with whatever people say about us, good or bad. We assume that everything is about us and that people are acting a certain way because of us, but that is not the case. In actuality, people only act because of themselves. When people spread emotional poison about us, it is our choice to either accept this poison by taking it personally or to reject it by understanding that it comes from their own set of beliefs and worldview. In this way, if you are able to reject the poison, you can become immune. Ruiz highlights that this applies not only to negativity, but to positivity as well, because the opinions of others are only their personal truths, not yours.

Ruiz also cautions not to take personally anything that your own mind has to say, because different parts of your mind have different ideas arising from different, conflicting agreements. He describes this phenomenon as a mitote, a chaos that rises from thousands of disagreeing voices and ideas. We may agree or disagree with different voices in the mitote, choosing to believe or disbelieve what they have to say, but it is not until we are able to identify all our inner conflicts that we can quiet the chaos. Finally, Ruiz argues that we are addicted to taking things personally because we are addicted to suffering, and that taking things personally is a huge cause of suffering. Believing lies others tell us, or believing that everything is about us, is the equivalent of taking in emotional poison, making us suffer as it creates inner conflict and pain. However, choosing to follow your truth, not the truth of others, allows you to trust yourself and become responsible only for your own actions, not the actions of others.

Previous section Chapter 2: The First Agreement Next section Chapter 4: The Third Agreement

Take a Study Break