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I wonder if any generation will ever believe again. People will say it was the war that shattered our lives and laid bare the beautiful lie we’d been taught. And they’d be right. And wrong. There was so much more. It’s hard to see clearly when the world is angry and divided and you’re being lied to.
In this quote from Chapter 35, Frankie expresses her feelings of disillusionment with the war and the part she played in it. Wartime exposes the contradictions within the narratives people grow up with, but it’s not the only thing that has changed the world for the worse and robbed people of their ability to “believe.” Frankie acknowledges that the war exposed the “beautiful lie”—the idealized vision of heroism and morally upright patriotism that the US military promotes. However, she resists simplifying the blame for everyone’s disillusionment into a simple anti-war complaint. When she says it’s “hard to see clearly” she means that it’s almost impossible to know what the right thing to do is in a world where both sides of an army are doing bad things. She’s mourning for the world that, before she went to Vietnam, she was sure existed. The one she has actually got, as she writes in her notebook, is much harder and more horrible.
“You think I feel guilty for urging my son to go to war? I do. It’s a thing I live with.” He swallowed hard. “But I feel more guilt about how I treated my daughter when she came home.” Frankie drew in a sharp breath. How long had she waited to hear those words from him?”
In this quote from the novel’s final chapter, Frankie’s father finally confronts his own guilt and offers a long-awaited acknowledgment of the harm he caused Frankie by dismissing her military service. For years, Frankie has carried the emotional wounds of her father’s rejection, believing that he would never see her as a hero. His earlier insistence on rigid gender roles and his refusal to place her on the hero’s wall denied her the validation she needed. Connor’s admission here implies that he feels bad for sending Finley to war, but that he feels worse about how he treated his daughter when she came back and Finley did not Connor’s guilt for urging Finley to go to war is part of his role in in perpetuating the family’s military legacy, even at the cost of his son’s life. However, that guilt is tempered by the fact that such encouragement was also given with love, and that he himself received it from his family. The way he treated Frankie, however, had no basis in tradition; it was cruel and unfatherly. When Frankie hears these words, she feels relieved, but it’s also a painful reminder of how long it took her father to reach this point. Connor’s admission does not erase the past, but it validates Frankie’s struggles somewhat. She isn’t healed, but the apology brings her a step closer.
There was more love in his eyes than should be there, and probably too much in hers.
"I love you, McGrath. I know I’m not supposed to…"
She longed to say it in return, but how could she? Words were creators of worlds; you had to be careful with them. He was going to meet his wife, see pictures of his son.
"I’ll miss you," she said instead.
In this quote from Chapter 10, Frankie wrestles with how much she can allow herself to say to Jamie when he’s about to finish his tour. She knows he’s married and that he is about to go home and see his wife and son, but she’s also in love with him. Their connection is full of moral complications. Jamie’s declaration—“I love you, McGrath. I know I’m not supposed to”—reveals his inability to suppress his emotions despite his obligations to his family. It’s both a step forward and a step back, reminding Frankie that whatever else they are, Jamie is a married man with a child. The scene feels so charged that Frankie is nervous about what will happen if she speaks, as though she might call some trouble into being by saying “I love you. Indeed, saying “I love you” would solidify something fragile and unsustainable, and she refuses to give into it. Instead, she chooses “I’ll miss you,” a phrase that acknowledges their connection without crossing a line she can’t ignore. Frankie’s careful choice of words shows her growing maturity and her unwillingness to lose herself to a man who can give her nothing in return.
