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I think about my childhood, the life I lived on Delano Island, that place was so small. Everyone knew me, not because I was special or anything, just because everyone knew everyone, and the claustrophobia of that, I can’t tell you. I just wanted some privacy.
Arthur’s life of fame and celebrity is an ironic one, because he had always wanted to escape being seen and known by others. Arthur grew up on a small island where everyone knew each other, and he felt claustrophobic in this environment. When he moves to Toronto, he gains freedom through the anonymity of existing in a big city. However, his interest in acting quickly leads him to fame, and soon he’s yet again living a life that is completely exposed to the public eye—this time, a much larger public. Arthur reflects that, sadly, the only time in his life that he had real freedom and privacy was during his brief stint in Toronto. While he’s had a wondrous life in many ways, he had to sacrifice his personal, private identity for a public one. In his later life, he deeply feels the consequences of that sacrifice.
He found he was a man who repented almost everything, regrets crowding in around him like moths to light.
When Arthur reflects on how his ex-wife Miranda would state that she “repented” nothing—meaning that she would not regret or apologize for being herself, or for what she found important in life—he realizes that he is the opposite. Despite the many incredible opportunities and connections his fame has brought him, Arthur has a lot of regrets, especially regarding relationships. His celebrity has given him a world of fans and onlookers, but it has hindered his ability to make deep private connections. Additionally, it has given him access to numerous beautiful and talented women. This may seem like an advantage, but in reality, it causes Arthur to divorce several wives, each time in favor of a new woman who he mistakenly believes can fulfill his current emotional needs. He never allows himself to truly understand or commit to a single partner.
It was the most beautiful place I have ever seen. It was gorgeous and claustrophobic. I loved it and I always wanted to escape.
Arthur’s individual journey of being caught between two worlds—his beautiful but claustrophobic island home and the freedom of life in a big city—mirrors the collective journey of the characters in Station Eleven, who are caught between memories of a wonderful and populated old world and the reality of living in a difficult and lonely yet hopeful new one. Indeed, the old world was, in some ways, claustrophobic; it was full of people and cities and systems, whereas the new world has a sort of freedom (countries don’t even exist anymore, in a legal sense) that is attractive at times. Both worlds have elements of beauty and horror in them, just as both of Arthur’s lives, before and after fame, had elements of good and bad.
