Snow Flower and the Secret Fan focuses on a friendship formed between two young girls, Lily and Snow Flower, meant to last throughout their lives. In the setting of the novel, 1800s China, women are valued for no more than their ability to bear sons. For this reason, women endure a great deal of suffering first from their birth families, and later from their in-laws and husbands. The only true love available for women not borne out of duty or obedience is that between friends. While some women are bonded to sworn sisters, before or after marriage, the most significant relationship is a laotong, an eternal bond between kindred sisters. This is the relationship that Lily and Snow Flower enter into as young girls. However, the driving conflict of their relationship, and of the novel, is between who Snow Flower really is and who Lily wants her to be.

Beginning at the age of seven, Lily has her feet bound, along with her cousin and younger sister. In Chinese culture, footbinding was seen as a mark of feminine beauty and obedience. As Lily has always been desperate for her mother’s affection, she does her best to endure the painful process without complaint, knowing the pain she experiences is necessary in order to be considered marriageable and eventually have a son. The footbinding represents both the pain associated with coming of age, as it marks Lily’s journey from childhood to adolescence, and the suffering that women must endure. Footbinding is not only a way of proving to a girl’s future in-laws that she can withstand the pain of childbirth, but also serves as evidence that she will be obedient no matter the circumstances. Lily sees footbinding as the ultimate proof of her mother’s love, which will distort her views of love throughout her life. Lily will also take the lessons learned during this time as proof that obedience, silence, and carrying on tradition can bring a woman through difficult times.

The inciting incident occurs when Lily receives a fan from Snow Flower, inviting her to a laotong relationship. Though tradition dictates that Lily would send her response on a new fan back to Snow Flower, Lily returns the same fan with her message, hoping to use the fan as a symbol of their everlasting friendship. For years, they write to each other in nu shu, a secret women’s language that men do not know. Lily is matched with Snow Flower as Snow Flower comes from a more prosperous family than Lily. From their first meeting, Lily is in awe of Snow Flower’s sophistication, showing how much Lily values social status. Having grown up seeing relationships as largely transactional, Lily is excited for what her bond with Snow Flower will mean for her marriage. Blinded by this, Lily fails to notice hints that Snow Flower may not be who Lily thinks she is.

The rising action occurs when Lily discovers the truth about Snow Flower’s family. Lily is shocked to visit Snow Flower’s birth home and finds that, rather than living in luxury, Snow Flower’s house is empty and uncared for. As the only son, Snow Flower’s father had to pay for his late father’s concubines and his sisters’ bride prices, forcing him to sell the family’s possessions and eventually leading him to opium addiction. Rather than feeling sympathy for her friend’s plight, Lily feels betrayed that she was lied to for so long, showing how childish and self-centered she is even as a grown woman. Lily further displays this childishness by taking her anger out on her mother for lying to her, showing she never recovered from her mother’s lack of love and the trauma she endured during her footbinding. 

Lily repeatedly tells Snow Flower that their relationship has not changed. However, Lily’s new social status means she cannot help herself from judging Snow Flower’s position. She is disgusted by Snow Flower’s husband’s profession and family, as she sees the women as crass and beneath her. As Lily and Snow Flower settle into married life and give birth to several children, they continue writing to each other in nu shu, which allows them to hide their true thoughts from the men in their lives. Snow Flower reveals her unhappiness, as her husband and mother-in-law are cruel. Lily only encourages Snow Flower to obey her in-laws, believing that as long as a woman follows tradition, she will be happy. However, these platitudes show that Lily does not truly understand Snow Flower’s suffering, or what it means to be a friend. Even when they are exiled to the mountains, Lily sees firsthand the abuse Snow Flower receives from her husband, and Snow Flower confides that she wants to die. Still, Lily believes this is no different from the suffering all women experience. From Lily’s privileged vantage point, she is not aware of how it feels to experience such suffering, but assumes it is what the footbinding of their childhood prepared them for.

As Snow Flower begins to feel that her complaints are a burden on Lily, she sends a message explaining that she will begin confiding in a group of sworn sisters instead. Lily, who still views love as something to be earned and transactional, is deeply upset by this. The climax of the novel occurs when the two women confront each other at a Singing and Sitting Ceremony. Snow Flower delivers a Letter of Vituperation, trying to explain her side of things. Lily, however, responds by airing Snow Flower’s secrets, publicly humiliating her. Lily’s message comes to be known around the county as a warning to women who do not follow tradition. While this may once have pleased Lily, who so valued conformity, looking back she is horrified at what she did to her lifelong friend. The arc of Lily and Snow Flower’s friendship shows how depriving girls of love and value can have ramifications on relationships throughout their lives. Since Lily never received love from her mother, she believed it was something to be earned. When Lily did not feel Snow Flower had earned her love, she rescinded it, showing how the cycle of women’s suffering is perpetuated.

The falling action occurs when Lily and Snow Flower reunite, as Snow Flower is dying. After years of holding a grudge against Snow Flower, Lily learns the truth: Snow Flower never violated their laotong relationship, but only sought women who would listen to and empathize with her. Lily realizes how short-sighted and cruel she was to Snow Flower. Understanding that she only viewed Snow Flower’s worth from the perspective of a man, Lily then devotes her life to making sure women feel their lives are worthy by writing down their stories in nu shu. Lily then uses her own story to try to atone for what she did to Snow Flower. The resolution shows how powerful language and stories can be, as well as the enduring friendship of women. Even decades after Snow Flower’s death, her hold on Lily, and Lily’s love for her, remains, as does their fan.