She knew that when she played she was giving pleasure only to herself; but this was no new sensation. Excepting one short period of her life, she had never, since the age of fourteen, never since the loss of her dear mother, known the happiness of being listened to, or encouraged by any just appreciation or real taste.

Anne is not a favorite in her family, and she does not share their values or opinions of the world. Her family is vain and image-conscious, while Anne is observant and self-reflective. As such, the Elliots and their larger social circle pay little attention to her. At the beginning of the novel, all Anne’s actions are in service of her family and friends, or else they are for herself alone. This quote from Chapter 6 gives one of the few clues about Anne’s mother and makes it evident that Anne was close to her. Anne’s mother cared more about Anne than the rest of her family does. The only other person who has prioritized Anne’s happiness was Wentworth during their engagement eight years before the novel.

Anne, attending with all the strength and zeal, and thought, which instinct supplied, to Henrietta, still tried, at intervals, to suggest comfort to the others, tried to quiet Mary, to animate Charles, to assuage the feelings of Captain Wentworth. Both seemed to look to her for directions.

Anne’s capacity to care for others is one of her strongest and best qualities. Although her family and friends often take advantage of this quality, it makes Anne invaluable in getting treatment for Louisa after she gets injured. In Chapter 12, the narrator specifically points out that Anne is more capable in a crisis than the two men at the scene. She alone thinks clearly enough to send Captain Benwick for a doctor and to do what they can for Louisa in the meantime. On top of medical care, Anne provides emotional support for everyone else, and she does so in unique ways for Mary, Charles, and Wentworth because she knows them well enough to anticipate what they need. It is this capability that completely reanimates Wentworth’s affection for her and leads them to rebuild their relationship.

My idea of good company, Mr. Elliot, is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.

If there is one thing the Elliot family is known for, it is pride. Sir Walter, Elizabeth, and even Mary care deeply about their image and the image of those connected to them. Anne is very different from her family, but she shares some of the Elliot pride, albeit in a different way. Throughout the novel, Anne feels frustrated and embarrassed by her family because of their excessive vanity, but she makes her own deliberate attempt to appear refined and associate with distinguished people. She may not scorn someone for not being beautiful, rich, or influential, but she does look down on those she finds vapid, power-hungry, or dishonest. When Anne says these words to Mr. Elliot in Chapter 16, she is directly setting herself apart from her family’s view of good company as people with high social standing.

If I was wrong in yielding to persuasion once, remember that it was to persuasion exerted on the side of safety, not of risk.

When Anne and Captain Wentworth finally admit their lasting feelings for each other, they compare notes on their past and talk about how they feel now. Wentworth admits he felt jealous at the concert. He saw her with her family and an eligible man and assumed they would at least try to persuade her to marry Mr. Elliot, in the same way they had once persuaded her not to marry him. In this quote from Chapter 23, however, Anne defends herself by saying she is older and more equipped to make her own decisions now, but she also defends her past decision. She reminds Wentworth that she broke off their engagement because neither of them had been in a place to sustain a comfortable life. Anne could not have guaranteed Wentworth would succeed in the navy, so she would have given up a comfortable life for one of uncertainty. Although it was Lady Russell who originally persuaded Anne to think this way, Anne says maturing has made her agree that it was a wise choice.