Crying in H Mart Chapters 4–6 Summary & Analysis

Summary: Chapters 4–6

Chapter 4: New York Style

After a lackluster college experience at Bryn Mawr, Michelle lives in Philadelphia. She is twenty-five, living with her boyfriend Peter in a dilapidated apartment while waitressing and playing in her band, Little Big League. When her mother comes to visit, Michelle is unsure of how to interpret her mother’s lack of critique of her living situation, wondering if her mother has finally accepted her as she is. Later, when Michelle is visiting New York City, her parents call to tell her that her mother has a tumor in her stomach. She receives the call while getting a beer with Duncan, a friend from college, and afterwards calls Peter, who promises to come stay with her when he gets out of work. Michelle recalls introducing Peter to her parents, and her mother’s approval when he agrees to join the family on a trip to a Korean bathhouse. Peter arrives in NYC at four in the morning, and Michelle learns later that her parents notified him of the tumor first, so that he would be there for her when she found out.

Chapter 5: Where’s the Wine?

Michelle thinks back on her childhood of being a difficult kid. In memories of high school she suffers from depression and fights constantly with her mother. Her father reveals some of his own troubled adolescence, his issues with addiction, and his bad experiences with psychotherapy. The deeper Michelle sinks into depression, the harder on her her mother becomes, and the further away Michelle tries to get from her. She often stays over at her friend Nicole’s house, whose affectionate mother, Colette, makes Michelle question her own mother’s parenting style. Michelle turns to music to cope; encouraged by her friend Nick, she begins to play out at open mics and benefits despite her mother’s explicit disappointment. They fight, and Michelle veers further off-course: her grades plummet, she skips classes, and she has suicidal thoughts. A therapist prescribes her medication and diagnoses her with having had a mental breakdown. Michelle still manages to get into Bryn Mawr, and soon before leaving home gets in a huge fight with her mother. Her mother hits her, and yells that she got an abortion after Michelle because Michelle was such a bad kid. Michelle is shocked and hurt that her mother has kept the secret from her for so long.

Chapter 6: Dark Matter

Michelle readies herself to return home to Oregon to help care for her mother after her parents call to say her mother has stage four squamous cell carcinoma. Before seeing her mother again Michelle takes time to make herself look as clean and presentable as possible, and recalls doing the same during her college years, when her mother would send her generous care packages and, upon their reunions, prepare Michelle’s favorite foods.

Michelle’s father picks her up from the airport and Michelle begins to wonder if her relationship with her father will survive her mother’s illness. She talks about the abuse he endured as a child, about his problems with addiction and infidelity, and remembers a time in her youth when she discovered he was paying women online for affairs—a secret she never tells her mother. When they arrive at the house, Michelle is surprised at her mother’s stoicism. She tells her mother she wants to start cooking for her. Michelle’s mother tells her that Kye, a friend who she met in Japan, is going to come stay and help take care of her. That night, Michelle goes out onto the roof and reflects on the sleepless nights of her adolescence, how once she was trying to escape her mother and now she is terrified of losing her.

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